Tom and Katie's Het Fest

Are you as tired as I am of Tom and Katie's het fest? Tom, really, I don't give a shit at this point if you are straight, gay, bi, whatever, just stop talking about it. It's old, it's tired, and it's really quite boring. If Sir Elton and David had acted the way the two of you are acting, they'd be accused of throwing their "lifestyle" in our faces. Please, Tom, give it a rest.

Thanks for listening, have a great day.

P.S. If anyone knows Tom Cruise, and thinks he can help me further my career as a stand-up comic, please tell him I'm joking. I really do like heterosexuals. Some of my best friends are...