My life in showbiz, week two...

Brainwash - tough crowd tonight, lots of young, straight drunk guys and really, really dirty comics. My gut was telling me to bolt but I stuck it out, stayed until I was called, and got up and did my five minutes and did a good job. The people in front liked me – when I started talking about the Jewish/gay stuff about 15 people in the back went outside to smoke. I made a joke about “boy do I know how to empty a room, or what?” lost my focus for a second or two, then got back into my groove. I am not really sure if it was my material that emptied out the room, but if I did empty out the room I emptied it out of guys who were telling penis and vagina jokes all night long, so I did what my teacher says I should do and just focused on the people in the front, the ones who were paying attention and laughing. The new Mel Gibson stuff went over well. I did a solid 4:30 and it felt good. I played it back and it sounded good. I thought some of the comics tonight were really being disrespectful to some of the other comics.

Thanks for listening, have a great, SAFE 3-day weekend.

Kenny

Open Mic This Weekend

Dear Friends,

I will be doing open mic this weekend on Thursday evening at the Brainwash, 1122 Folsom Street (begins at 7 pm – I could go on anytime between 7 and 11, no way of knowing in advance), and on Saturday, 6 – 8 pm at SF Comedy College, 414 Mason Street, 7th floor (between Geary and O’Farrell).

A few words about these shows, but firstly thanks to everyone who came out to see me last week – my first two times in front of a real audience – your support supports me, to say the least. I hope you had as much fun as I did.

•Leave the kids at home – while I work “clean” for the most part, many other comics don’t – and don’t expect political correctness, not even from me!
•If you come to the show at SF Comedy College, please come at 6 and please stay for the whole show, until 8. It is a small room and it is VERY obvious when a large group of people gets up and leaves at the same time, and I caught a lot of (good-natured) crap from the other comics last week about my friends leaving after my act. Also, seems like they save the advanced students and more seasoned, professional comics for the last few acts, and some of these people last week were absolutely hysterical. You’ll be glad you stayed.
•Keep in mind that most of us are students or novices, trying out our material in front of audiences other than our friends and family for the first time. Some of our material might be funny, some of it might not be, but everyone up there is serious about doing comedy, so just sit back and enjoy yourselves – I guarantee you’ll have a good time.
•At 8 pm Saturday, after the open mic show, I will be staying for The Standup Project, 8 – 10 pm. My teacher, Kurtis Matthews, is performing along with a bunch of other excellent comics. Stick around. You’ll enjoy it.

The two open mic shows are free. The Standup Project show is $10. Well worth the price of admission. BYOB for 21 and over. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations. www.sfcomedycollege.com

Thanks, and count your blessing and keep looking for the laughs,

Kenny

I'm getting my act together and taking it on the road...

Earlier this summer I started graduate school – I enrolled at the San Francisco Comedy College and I am taking a 10-week course in stand-up comedy. After that I plan to continue at SFCC with writing, improv and ‘straight’ acting classes. This is something I have wanted to do for the longest time, and I am finally doing it. I did my first ‘open mic’ gig last night at the Brainwash in San Francisco and it was a great experience – I think they liked me!

Tomorrow night, Saturday, August 26, I will be doing ‘open mic’ at the SFCC’s on-site club. Please come if you can, not just to see me but to see some other great new comics, some of whom are my classmates. If it’s anything like it was at Brainwash last night, you’ll have a blast.

Looks like I'm going on early - come on by!

San Francisco Comedy College, "Petri Dish," Saturday, August 26, 6 - 8 pm, at 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor (between Geary and O'Farrell) www.sfcomedycollege.com

Come and enjoy!

Thanks for listening, have a great day.

Kenny

______________________________________________

Debbie Campo - Host 10
Carolyn Eidson 3
Kenny Altman 5
Rick Tweed 5
Julie Myers 3
Phillip Faulconer 5
Mick Yared 3
Ponch Bhatia 5
Rolando Abasolo 3
Saumil Henta 5
Nic Cruiser 5
Joe Nguyen 7
Jason Clause 7
Malcolm Grissom 10
Ali Mafi 10
Lilibeth Helson 10

Anna Diggs Taylor, a federal judge in Detroit ruled Thursday that George Bush's warrantless wiretapping of U.S. citizens violates the Constitution and federal law.

WHERE is Congress on this? This is an impeachable offense. Congress should be meeting right now, weekend or no, to discuss beginning impeachment proceedings. They met on a Sunday 18 months ago to discuss Terry Schiavo's feeding tube. WHERE are they this weekend? Why are they not at work?

We impeached a president for oral sex, but not for violating the United States Constitution? Is this our legacy for the history books? Shame on us.

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

KA

Terrorist plot exposed... which, of course, gives George Bush another reason to oppose same-sex marriage. Trust me, he'll figure out a way to connect the two. Probably something to do with gay men and their alleged excessive use of hair gels and other cosmetic products. Although, of course, I've never used hair gel in my life. But, trust me, he'll connect the two, just like he connected 9/11 to a reason to invade Iraq. What a shameful pall this man has cast over this great country. When do we get it back from him?

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

KA

Darlene Love has never hit a bad note in her entire life. Proof? Click here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDTCh1dUxUQ&mode=related&search=

Want to see her live? Click here - www.hairspraythemusical.com

Not sure who she is, and where you've heard her? Click here - www.darlenelove.com

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

KA

Two minutes and forty-one seconds of sheer artistic brilliance? A recording that comes along but once in a lifetime? A song that can be covered but NEVER improved upon? Time's up... Tammy Wynette, "Stand By Your Man."

Rest in peace, Tammy, you've earned it.

Here's a clip of Tammy singing SBYM on television back when the song was new - it is not identical to the recorded version, but it comes pretty darn close - enjoy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwBirf4BWew

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

KA

Mel, you just don't get it, do you?

Mel Gibson offered a second public "apology" today that still falls short of him taking responsibility for the anti-Semitic remarks he made last week during his arrest for driving drunk on Malibu's Pacifc Coast Highway. Let's explore...

In his statement, he said that "There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark."

That might have been sufficient, except for the sentence that immediately followed:

"But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith."


Sorry, Mel, you can't have it both ways. You can't say that "fucking Jews... are responsible for all the wars in the world," and then expect people to believe you when you say you are "not a bigot."

I'm not saying that he needs to declare outright that he is a bigot. What I am saying is that the denial in the second sentence dilutes the sincerity of the first. If he had just issued a statement with that first sentence, AND if he had offered to take some tangible actions with Jewish leaders to address his, and others', anti-Semitic remarks, I might have taken his words as sincere. Here, I'm sorry, but I just can not.

Just like the drunks who refer to gays and lesbians as "fucking faggots" or even those who in a more moderate tone say they oppose equal civil rights for gay and lesbian individuals, couples and families can't modify their statements by saying "don't get me wrong, I don't dislike gay people, and please don't think I'm a bigot, I just don't agree with homosexuality," neither can Gibson expect people to accept his half-hearted (UnBrave Heart?) apology in which he admits to making anti-Semitic statements but denies being an anti-Semite.

Brave Heart, indeed, Mel. You didn't fool me the first time, and you're not fooling me this time either.

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

KA