Kenny Altman at The Clubhouse 2/24/07

I felt real good about this set, 2/24/07. Thanks for watching, hope you like it! Kenny A.

I felt real good about this set 2/3/07. Hope you like it, thanks for watching!

Letter to the Editor, j. Weekly, 2/9/07

I'm very proud of this letter which appears in this week's issue of j. Weekly, the Jewish news weekly for the Bay Area.

Diluted message?

The Jan. 19 j. article “Time is on homosexual advocates’ side” concluded with Rabbi Eliot Dorff joking that he really does “talk about other things.”

I always find it interesting when straight people feel they need to clarify their stand on the gay issue by offering this or similar disclaimers. To me, as a gay man, every time I hear something remotely similar to this, it sounds like a cross between an apology and a reassurance that the speaker himself is not gay.

This issue just happens to be in the forefront these days, both in religious and civil matters. May I offer to Dorff and others, with all due respect, if it is important enough for you to advocate for it, don’t offer apologies or reassurances for voicing your opinion; from my perspective, it dilutes your message.

For what it’s worth, I was only 10 when the Civil Rights Act was signed into law, but I really don’t remember white people who supported the signing of the act having to reassure people that they “talked about other things.” But, interestingly, it seems to be that way whenever someone talks about the gay issue. Can we please get past that?

Kenny Altman | San Francisco

Kenny Altman at SFCC 1/27/07

Second half of my set 1/27/07, wherein I make my case as to why I think George Bush is gay. Enjoy!

Two chances to catch me next Saturday night, February 10!

San Francisco Comedy College, New Talent Showcase - 6 - 8 pm, $5 admission. San Francisco Comedy College is located at 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, between Geary and Post. If you are part of Congregation Beth Sholom's Keshet (Rainbow/LGBT) Chavurah, join us.

Q Comedy Gay and Lesbian Showcase - 8 pm - sliding scale admission, $8 - $15 - at the Jon Sims Center, 1519 Mission St (between 11th St. and South Van Ness). Show begins at 8 and I will most likely go on a little after 9.

Thank you for coming out to support live comedy!

My first paid gig!

Come see me this coming Saturday night, February 3, 6 - 8 pm at my first paid gig, the Advanced Class Grad Show at San Francisco Comedy College, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, between Geary and Post. $10 admission and I get 50% of that when you tell the person at the door that you are coming to see me! Advance tix available at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/10128 Thanks for coming out to support live comedy!

I will be at the San Francisco Comedy College again on Saturday evening, February 10, same time, same location, $5 admission. If you are a member of Congregation Beth Sholom's Keshet (Rainbow) Chavurah, join us for the show and then afterwards for dinner in the neighborhood. Info about Congregation Beth Sholom and Keshet in links on right-hand side of this page.

I will be providing the comedy entertainment for Congregation Beth Sholom's First Annual Dinner Dance on Saturday evening, February 24. For info, contact Congregation Beth Sholom at 415/221-8736 or info@bethsholomsf.org.

Thanks for listening, have a great week!

Kenny A.

Rock-it Room Tonight!!

Come see me at Rock-it Room this evening, Monday, January 22! Rock-it Room is located on Clement Street, in the Richmond District, between 5th and 6th Avenues.

I am assisting with hosting and sign-up tonight and have been told that I can pick my time. I will most likely go on sometime between 9 and 9:30 pm.

Come on over and have some yuks!

Kenny A.

Boxer vs. Rice - much ado about nothing. In other words, a smokescreen for the chickenhawks who support this travesty in Iraq to divert us from the real issue - we have invaded a country illegally, 3,000 of our young people have died, and George Bush wants to send 20,000 more over there. For what? Please, for fuck's sake, can someone please tell me for what?!

And in the middle of it all, all the news columnists and radio talk show hosts can talk about is this bullshit about one comment that Barbara Boxer made to Condoleeza Rice?! Can we please concentrate on what's really important here. Can the news media please get back to work and report on the seriousness of this travesty that Bush has created, and leave the fun and fluff pieces where they belong - with Ebntertainment Tonight and Rosie and Donald, Britney and K-Fed, Zarf/Zoe, aka All My Children's lesbian trapped in a man's body, etc....

This "war" is a travesty, we have a seated "president" who wants to put the civil rights of a majority up to a popular vote, and all people seem to be worrying about is whether Boxer unduly criticized Rice? Please!

Thanks for listening, have a great, peaceful, humorous, pop culture-filled day.

Kenny A.

P.S. Yes, I am aware that I used the word "travesty" three times in one short piece. Sosumi.

Kenny Altman at SFCC 1/6/07

Kenny Altman at San Francisco Comedy College 1/6/07

Here is a minute and a half or so of my set from last Saturday night. To give the first joke some context, I am talking about Gerald Ford and
James Brown dying in the same week and Ronald Reagan and Ray Charles dying in the same week, illustrating my thought that there must be some sort of balance in the universe, e.g. Every time a soul-less right-wing conservative dies, we have to take out a black musical icon to balance out the universe. Or something like that.

Enjoy!

My life in showbiz, week 20...

Two chances to see me this weekend, plus exciting news about next weekend and an upcoming show in February.

I'll be emceeing my good friend Sarah Horowitz' birthday party/poetry slam at The Strauss House (don't call it a venue), 351 16th Avenue, between Geary and Clement, in SF, on Saturday/Shabbat afternoon, 1/6/07. Light lunch at 1:00 pm, show at 2:00 pm. All are invited.

I'll be appearing at the New Talent Showcase at San Francisco Comedy College, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, between Geary and Post, Saturday evening, 1/6/07. Show begins at 6:00 pm and runs till 8:30 pm or thereabouts. Admission $5. Be advised - the elevator at 414 Mason is broken and you will need to walk up the stairs, but you'll certainly be in the mood to laugh after that trip!

Next weekend, Saturday evening January 13, I'll be hosting the New Talent Showcase, my first time, and I'm very excited, so please come on down - your presence and your support is always very greatly appreciated!

On Saturday night, February 24, I'll be providing comedy entertainment along with my good friend Joseph Nguyen at Congregation Beth Sholom's First Annual Dinner Dance. More details to follow. If you'd like an invitation to this event, let me know by e-mail to kennyaltman@earthlink.net. Joe and I work well together and I guarantee you will enjoy.

Hey! Have a great Shabbat and a great weekend, and keep looking for the laughs - they're out there.

Thanks for supporting live comedy.

Kenny A.

Darlene Love has never sung a bad note in her entire life...

...ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present my evidence, and I rest my case. Click here - www. youtube.com/watch?v=uDi5ZIcrxNA&NR

Just another gay, religious, rock and roll Jew who loves Christmas music. (I also adore Jake Gyllenhaal, with whom I share a birthday.)

So sue me, I love Christmas music. Not the smarmy, sappy, shit you hear in elevators or at the supermarket, but contemporary rock and roll Christmas music. The Beach Boys' "Little St. Nick," Phil Spector's "A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector," etc., that sort of stuff. I just absolutely love it and I love listening to it all every December.

Here's my new favorite, a little nugget I just discovered this year. For your consideration, I give you Harry Connick Jr. and "I Pray on Christmas" from 1993. Other than appearing shirtless in the final scene of "Pajama Game" on Broadway last year, this is truly one of Harry's finest moments.

Click here to enjoy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOVXs7tby9g

And for good measure, one more - from 1978, The Dickies' "(Un)Silent Night."

www.thepopview.com/mptres/silent-night.mp3

My life in showbiz, week 17...

Student Showcase/ChrisChanukahWaanzamas Party at Roosters!!
Saturday, December 23, 2006, 6 - 8 pm
Rooster T. Feathers, 157 W El Camino Real, Sunnyvale - click here for directions www.mapquest.com
See the top students of the SFCC's South Bay and San Francisco branches rock the house at Rooster T. Feathers!! $10 + 2 item minimum, door at 5:30, show at 6, bring your friends and the party!!

Afterwards, we are having our ChrisChanukahWaanzamas party and staying to see our teachers, Kurtis Matthews and Joe Klocek perform in the 9 pm show!! So come on down and make an evening of it. For tix to the 9 pm show, click here www. www.ticketweb.com/t3/event/EventListings?orgId=13480

BUT - if you come to the 6 pm show, you get in to the 9 pm show for free! Not a bad deal at all.

Hope you're having a great Chanukah and a great "holiday" season overall.

On a serious note, I need to add that I lost a good friend of mine this past week. Betsy Burton, a co-worker of mine, died unexpectedly last weekend. I worked closely with Betsy over the past several years and I will miss her very much. She was smart, she was vibrant, and she was always a joy to be around. She came to see my show in October, and I am glad to say that one of my lasting memories of Betsy will always be of seeing her sitting in the SFCC Club house, smiling and laughing at me and my colleagues. Betsy, I adored you, and I will miss you. May your memory always be for a blessing.

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

Kenny A.

I want a big helping of THIS for my birthday! And if I ask real nice, can I have seconds?!

Thanksgiving, 1990, Napa County, CA - my first and only time in drag. I don't know how you women do it!

My Life in Showbiz, Week 16...

Dear Friends and Family,

Come and hear what I have to say about Tyra and Tori - I'll be appearing Saturday night, December 16, at the Petri Dish show at the Clubhouse at SF Comedy College - 414 Mason Street, 7th floor, hosted this week by the fabulous Deb Campo. Show begins promptly at 6, so please arrive at 6 and plan to stay for the entire show, until 8:30, not just to see me but to see some really, really, really funny people who I am honored to be able to share a stage with every Saturday night. $5 admission, well worth the cost. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations; see link in "links" section of this page to learn more about SF Comedy College. Leave the kids at home, and don't expect political correctness - not even from me!

Why I Love Joan Jett So Much

Why I Love Joan Jett So Much...

For the past several months, for my stand-up act, I have chosen to use Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll" as my intro song. It is a great high-energy song to come on stage to. Sometimes I take a moment at the beginning of my set to acknowledge the music and to refer to "Joanie" as my good-luck charm. Another way I work Joan into my set is when I say that I didn't get any number of stereotypical gay genes, I am fond of saying, for example, "when G-d was handing out the fashion gene to gay men, I was in the next room at the Joan Jett concert."

If you love a good, hard-edged pop/rock song as much as I do, and if your tastes run similar to mine, it's easy on the surface to see why I love Joan Jett so much. In a word, she is awesome. Her body of work over the past 30 years has been consistently good. Her songs are tight, her vocals are strong, and she is undoubtedly one of the finest rhythm guitar players on the circuit today. Her live shows take it one step further. She gives it her all, each and every time. To paraphrase a lyric from her rap song, "Black Leather," she is Joan, and she is love.

But there is another dimension to why I love Joan Jett so much. It has to do with something that happened over 20 years ago, when I was managing Tower Records in New York City. Joan and her band were scheduled to do an autograph-signing appearance at our Lincoln Center location to promote her latest release, "Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth," which remains to this day the album of hers I listen to most, with "Good Music" running a close second. Joan was scheduled to arrive at 10:00 AM and stay until 12:00 noon. When she arrived, there were 2,000 fans outside our store waiting to meet her. There was no way we would be able to move 2,000 people through the line in just two hours. Joan looked at the crowd and said to her manager, and then to me, "I'll stay until everyone's gone through the line." And she stayed for eight hours. Eight hours! For her fans! This, to me, is the ultimate in professionalism, the ultimate in respect for the business and for your art, the ultimate in respect for the fans who adore you and who are in no small part responsible for your success. The fact that you do this to acknowledge this to your fans shows how much you care about that relationship. The only other person who ever did this was Luciano Pavarotti, who stayed for six hours a few months after that. Contrast that with Billy Idol, who came 45 minutes late and left after an hour, leaving us with 1,500 12-year-old girls going into heat for the first time banging on our windows and our doors to get in. We had to call the NYPD to bring a squad car up to the front door and the horse patrol to move the crowds away. It was scary, and whatever little respect I may have had for Billy Idol prior to that afternoon, I lost completely that day.

Joan, you are the best, and I love you, and I love coming on stage to "I Love Rock and Roll." Keep well, and keep up the good work!

It was a great time in my life, and I love reliving it each time I listen to Joan Jett!

Thanks for listening, have a great day.

Kenny A.

Tori Spelling is writing her memoirs and I'm really, really scared.

My life in showbiz, week 15...

Dear Friends,

I will be performing at the "Petri Dish" open mic set at San Francisco Comedy College on Saturday evening, December 9. Show begins at 6 and goes till 8:30. No telling when I might go on, so try to arrive by 6 and plan to stay for the whole show, not just to see me but to see and support some really, really, really funny people that it is my pleasure to share a stage with each week. $5 admission, well worth it, and more! SF Comedy College is located at 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, between Geary and Post. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations. For info, see link on right side of this page.

Have a great Shabbat and a fabulous weekend!

Kenny A.

Canvas Cafe, Tuesday evening, December 5.

Dear Friends,

My good friend Jill Bourque and I will be performing at open mic at the Canvas Cafe, 1200 9th Avenue at Lincoln Way, on Tuesday evening, December 5. Come on down and watch or, if you're a comic, come and join us in the lineup! Show starts at 8 pm. We could go on any time between 8 and 10 pm, possibly even later, but come on down and hang out with us and we'll all have a gay old time!

Keep well,

Kenny

My life in showbiz, week 14... plus save the date - December 17 - my first annual birthday/comedy yuk-fest!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be appearing Saturday night, December 2, at the Petri Dish show at the Clubhouse at SF Comedy College - 414 Mason Street, 7th floor, hosted this week by the fabulous Ali Mafi. Show begins promptly at 6, so please arrive at 6 and plan to stay for the entire show, until 7:30, not just to see me but to see some really, really, really funny people who I am honored to be able to share a stage with every Saturday night. $5 admission, well worth the cost. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations; see link in "links" section of this page to learn more about SF Comedy College. Leave the kids at home, and don't expect political correctness - not even from me!

Save the date - The First Annual Kenny Altman Birthday/Comedy Yuk-fest - Sunday evening, December 17, 7 - 9 pm, at a private home in San Francisco - if you would like an invitation let me know by mailto:kennyaltman@earthlink.net.

Shabbat shalom to all,

Kenny A.