Dan Kliman, R.I.P.

Those of us who knew Dan Kliman are devastated by the news of his death this past week, apparently from a fall down an elevator shaft in a building in San Francisco on Tuesday, November 25. His body was discovered by workers in that building on December 1.

Dan was, simply put, a pretty special guy, someone I am richer for having known.

I was one of the first people, if not the first, that Dan met when he first moved here several years ago. He communicated on the "frumgays" listserv that he was moving to the Bay Area and was interested in meeting with other gay Jews. Since Dan told us up front that he was a vegetarian, a bunch of friends and I from the "frumgays" listserv met him at Herbivore on Divisadero Street in SF. We were impressed by seeing him ride up on his collapsible bike, which we eventually came to realize was all but surgically attached to his body. We were also impressed by how outgoing, friendly and intelligent he was; the fact that he was so darn cute was an extra added plus. :)

I introduced Dan to some friends of mine in Oakland, and they ended up being very good friends. I feel good about having been the initial conduit for that friendship.

Dan and I even went on a date once. It was on a Sunday afternoon, November 16, 2003. I remember the date so well because it was the same day I learned that my mother had broken her hip. My mother subsequently died in surgery a few days after that. Who knows? Perhaps if I hadn't spent the week and a half after our first date tending to my family and then sitting Shiva, there might have been a second date. :)

Dan and I shared a lot of the same passion and excitement about being both Jewishly observant and 100% unapologetic about being openly gay, and that those two characteristics did not ever need to be mutually exclusive of each other but that rather, in fact, they complemented each other.

Dan was also the founder of the organization SF Voice for Israel and a fervent, intelligently well-spoken Israel supporter.

And he was so much more. Just Google his name and you will see how far and wide his circle reached, and just how much ground he covered in only 38 years.

Anyone who knew Dan is devastated by this news. Zichrono l'vracha - may his memory always be for a blessing.

Kenny Altman
San Francisco, CA
December 3, 2008

Letter to the Editor, SF Chronicle 11/29/08

I am very proud of this letter that appeared in the SF Chronicle this weekend, and I’d be honored if you took a moment or two to read it. Here's the link, text below.

To put it in context, I am commenting on an article about people who supported Prop. 8 who are now carping and whining that people are threatening to boycott their businesses and, allegedly, their livelihoods. My heart does NOT bleed for them in the least bit.


Rightful challenges to Prop. 8 supporters

Editor - I must take issue with John Diaz's assessment of the Proposition 8 aftermath ("The ugly backlash over Proposition 8," Nov. 23). People who support Prop. 8 cannot have it both ways. They cannot expect to revoke an entire group of people's civil rights and then cry "foul" if someone decides to contact them personally and call them on it.

I am not advocating any type of personal physical attack and I am certainly not advocating attacking someone's family members, especially minor children, but yes, if an adult makes a public statement supporting Prop. 8, he or she needs to understand that those of us who are affected by their opinions might choose not to sit back in silence and we might take it upon ourselves to approach these people and to challenge them on their opinions. Accordingly, if that person is a business owner, they need to understand that we might take our checkbooks and do business elsewhere.

Try this on the other foot, perhaps. Try to imagine what we, as LGBT people, must face every single day because we choose to make public statements about who we are, merely by attempting to live our lives openly and proudly and by advocating for, and at times even demanding, the equal protection under the law that we are entitled to.

Personally, I am offended almost every day by liars, frauds and propagandists who have never met me but at the same time profess to be experts on who I am and how I live my life. I am offended by those people talking about me as if I were some abstract concept and not a real human being, someone who feels and someone who hurts. The backlash I feel every single day of my life is ugly. Yet, I go on. The Prop. 8 supporters need to do the same. Prop. 8 hurts everyone. If someone thinks they are bold enough to make a public statement supporting legalized discrimination, they need to expect that there might be non-violent consequences to their statement, that they will be challenged, and deservedly so. Seems to me that the people who support Prop. 8 can dish it out, but they can't take it. Of course, I'm not surprised. That, my friends, is the true definition of a bully.

KENNY ALTMAN

San Francisco

Naughty Pediatrician! (a real person, not a '70s porn flick)

This is Dr. Jane Anderson. She is a naughty, naughty pediatrician. Oh what the heck, say it, she's just plain bad.

Here's why.

No on Prop 8 - a simple matter of equal protection under the law

This went out via e-mail the other night to my e-mail address book:
_________________________________

Dear Friends, Family and Other Acquaintances,

I have never done this before, this being sending a message to my entire address book. I have thought long and hard about whether to send this message, I would prefer to not have to do it, but I feel as if I have been left with no choice but to do so.

You are receiving this message either because I know you, have known you, or because you have made it into my address book for one reason or another. If you are my brother you are receiving this message, if you are a comic who gave me your business card at a show, if you are in customer service at LandsEnd.com (Nu?! You thought I shopped at Saks?!), you are receiving this message. My intent is neither to offend nor intrude, but rather to inform, and I would most gratefully appreciate your taking the time to read this through.

I am asking you, if you are a California voter who has not yet voted, to remember to vote no on Proposition 8 this coming Tuesday, November 4.

Let me first tell you briefly what Proposition 8 is NOT, and then what it is.

Proposition 8 is NOT about same-sex marriage, and it is NOT about gay rights. It is NOT about what we teach or don’t teach our children in school, and it is most certainly NOT about what someone does, or doesn’t do, in his or her bedroom.

Proposition 8, if passed, would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. It is about denying one group of people equal protection under the law, and about amending the California state constitution to legalize discrimination, to relegate one group of people to second-class status. It is nothing more, and it is nothing less. And, in my humble opinion, I can’t think of anything scarier and more un-American than that.

I ask you, please, to vote no on Proposition 8 and, if you are able, to donate to the No on 8 campaign, at http://www.noonprop8.com/.

If you are offended by this message, please be assured that the offense is unintentional, and please accept my apology. But, at the same time, please understand that I am offended by Proposition 8. I am offended almost every day of my life, and even more so during election season, by liars, frauds and propagandists who have never met me but at the same time profess to be experts on who I am and how I live my life. I am offended by those people talking about me as if I were some abstract concept, and not a real human being. And I must tell you that I am offended, and appalled, by the amount of money that has been poured into this divisive, discriminatory measure, mostly by out-of-state so-called religious groups, money that could easily have gone to provide food or clothing for people in need, textbooks for public schools and so much more. Moreover, I am saddened by the amount of money that the No on 8 campaign has had to raise in turn, to counter these efforts to legalize discrimination. In the past month, I have donated close to $100 to No on 8. For those of you who know me, that is a lot of money for me to put out in one month. But, as I said above regarding the sending of this message, I feel as if I have had absolutely no choice but to donate whatever I reasonably could, and then a little more on top of that.

That’s all I can say at this point. Many of you who know me well know that I can be rather long-winded at times, more so when discussing an issue about which I am especially passionate, in this case equal protection under the law. I have tried to keep this as short as I possibly could. I thank you for your time, your consideration, and your support in this matter, and I wish you nothing but the best.

Kenny Altman
San Francisco, California
October 29, 2008

Guest Writer, Allan Altman, On Same-Sex Marriage and Demanding More of Our Candidates and Elected Officials

My brother, Allan Altman, wrote this piece, which has been submitted to the New York Times as well as to the Barack Obama Web site. I think it's brilliant, but seeing as it was written by my brother I'm not surprised that it is brilliant!

____________________________________

The press and the media have given both candidates and their running mates a free ride on the issue of same-sex marriage. I can't think of another issue which is allowed to be addressed without the requirement of any evidence of rational thought.

The dissenting judges in the recent decision to permit same-sex marriage in Connecticut were not as fortunate. They were obligated to explain their reasoning. According to The New York Times, “Justice David M. Bordon contended that there was no conclusive evidence that civil unions are inferior to marriages, and he argued that gay people have ‘unique and extraordinary’ political power that does not warrant heightened constitutional protections.” The other dissenting opinion reported in the
Times was from Justice Peter T. Zarella, who claimed that marriage laws are bound up with the issue of procreation and therefore don’t apply to gay people. Apparently forgetting that some senior citizens marry long after the possibility of procreation has passed, he wrote “The ancient definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman has its basis in biology, not bigotry.”

So, one Justice sees gay people as already having “unique and extraordinary” political power and another sees this as an issue of “biology.” The similarity to the Nazis' profile of Jews as both all-powerful and genetically-tainted is uncanny. But beyond that, how can any competent lawyer or judge accept either of these arguments as logically sound? It is as though rational thought is irrelevant when gay issues are raised. This may be true (and understandable, even acceptable) in everyday personal interactions, but don’t we expect a different response from people who interpret our country’s laws? Don’t we expect more from people who govern?

In terms of the presidential candidates, it is shocking that no one ever seems to ask them why they don’t believe that same-sex marriage is a natural civil right. Their objection to it is apparently so obvious to the unwashed masses that they are not required to present a cogent, rational, law-based response that takes into account the supposed separation of church and state.

Of course, I understand that openly promoting same-sex marriage might mean certain failure on November 4, just as running as an Abolitionist in early 19th-century America might have been absurd. But once the election is over and we have a new team in the White House, should it not be incumbent upon them to give us a rational explanation of why they oppose same-sex marriage? Is that asking too much? Or will we continue with Bush’s tactic of applying “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” to the actions of the next President?

Allan Altman
New York, NY
October 12, 2008

The choice for this November is so simple, even a 10-year-old gets it!

I called my 10-year-old, Reuben, the other day, Friday August 29 to be exact, to wish him a happy birthday. I call him "my 10-year-old" because I have known him since before he was born, as I have known his sister, Ruth, since she was about a year old. Reuben's and Ruth's parents, Katherine and Henry, are two of my closest friends in San Francisco. We live just two and a half blocks from each other, and have spent more Friday night Shabbat dinners with each other over the past 10 years than we haven't. When I was sick earlier this month and couldn't leave the house for several days, without hesitating for a second they looked in on me every day, brought me food, etc., as did some of my other good friends; if that's not family, I don't know what is, hence I call him "my 10-year-old."

In any case, I called Reuben to wish him a happy birthday. "Happy birthday," I said. He replied with "well, it might be my birthday, but it's not very happy." Concerned, I asked why. "Because," he said, "it's John McCain's birthday, too!"

Yup. So simple even a 10-year-old gets it.

Thanks for listening, have a great day!

Just One of the Girls is Just Six Days Away! Get Your Tickets Now!

On Saturday night, June 7, join Kenny Altman and four - or five - perhaps even six - of the Bay Area's hottest female comics at this brand-new comedy showcase, Just One of the Girls!

Just One of the Girls!
Saturday night, June 7, 8 pm
MetroSpace, 379 Highland (at Andover), San Francisco
$10 tix online at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34769

Your host - Kenny Altman
Starring - Dana LoVecchio
Featuring - Beth Schumann
With - Candy Churilla, Loren Kraut, and Morgan

Kenny Altman holds the distinction of being San Francisco's only Stand-up Comic and Torah Trope instructor. He recently co-hosted the popular "Gays and Dolls" series at the Clubhouse in San Francisco, has played at clubs all over the U.S. and has shared the stage with such luminaries as Marga Gomez, Karen Ripley, Jeff Applebaum, Kid Dave Miller, and more. As a young child coming of age in the 1960s, his mother and grandmother used to tell him that he was "funnier than Alan King" but Kenny always knew there was more to him that just that - he also knew that he was "prettier than Julie Andrews." Kenny has always had a special place in his heart for female comics and he is especially excited to be bringing this new comedy showcase to San Francisco, especially with this smokin' hot lineup for the show's debut:

Dana LoVecchio started performing comedy shows at the age of 7 in Michelle Meade's backyard. She continued performing throughout elementary school, where she would shove peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in her face to make the kids at the lunch table laugh. Upon her graduation from John F. Kennedy High School, Dana was awarded the high honor of Most Likely To Appear On Def Comedy Jam. Not being black, Dana was perplexed, but then she remembered her southern Italian roots and silently thanked her ancestors for getting it on with the Moors. She has performed all over the San Francisco Bay Area including The San Jose Improv, Rooster T Feather's, The Purple Onion, The Clubhouse, and Cobb's Comedy Club.

Beth Schumann is one of the founding members of the Mixed Nuts: Comics on Meds stand up comedy troupe, which features comedians on medication for a wide variety of mental health disorders, raising awareness and laughter at the same time. Beth is also a regular with Grace White's Women Who Kick Comedy Butt. Beth has shared the stage with Rob Cantrell, James P. Connolly, Jimmy Dore, Will Durst, Al Madrigal, Phil Palisoul, Tom Pecora, Tom Rhodes, Dwight Slade, Bobby Slayton, Harland Williams, and more.

Candy Churilla was born and raised in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she learned to drink. This proud bachelorette's life is one misunderstanding, man, and cocktail after another. What this lovably twisted comic lacks in self-control she makes up for in self-involvement. If her life were an HBO series, it would be called Sex & the Ghetto

Loren Kraut can be seen far and wide touching or counting anything that needs touching or counting. At the recent San Francisco Comedy College Awards, Loren won "Most Inspirational Comedian" for 2008.

Morgan is a former ironworker from Island Heights, New Jersey. Really, do you need to know more than that?!

Let Arnold Know You Support Equal Protection Under The Law!

Hi, everyone. The California Supreme court decision on same-sex marriage was historic, a long time coming, hard fought and about time.

As I have said a thousand times over, however, this was not specifically about same-sex marriage, nor was it specifically about homosexuality. It was, specifically, about equal protection under the law.

Not surprisingly Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is receiving large numbers of phone calls from opponents of equal protection under the law about his comment to a group of Log Cabin Republicans that he wouldn't support a constitutional amendment to ban equal protection under the law.

We don't want him to go back on his word.

He must hear from us too.

The aide I spoke to yesterday was so glad I called as most of his calls were from the "other side." Call, email or write him and THANK him for his support, and to support the Supreme Court's decision.

It is automated and you will not talk to anyone, just push the number for pro Supreme Court decision.

To vote in support of the Supreme Court's decision on equal protection under the law:
call 1-916-445-2841
press 1, 5, 1, 1


It couldn't be easier to vote... please take 15 seconds right now to do it!


To email go to http://gov.ca.gov/interact , hit email tab and select Supreme Court decision on Same Sex Marriage. On the next screen you must click PRO. Then just a couple of words of thanks are all you need. No long letter which no one will read anyway.

State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-445-2841
Fax: 916-558-3160 (new number)

Anything you do will be most appreciated!

Oh, and while you're at it, go to http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34769 to purchase advance tickets for my hot new comedy showcase, Just One of the Girls!

Just One of the Girls Premieres Saturday Night, June 7!

On Saturday night, June 7, join Kenny Altman and four - or five - perhaps even six - of the Bay Area's hottest female comics at this brand-new comedy showcase, Just One of the Girls!

Just One of the Girls!
Saturday night, June 7, 8 pm
MetroSpace, 379 Highland (at Andover), San Francisco
$10 tix online at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34769

Your host - Kenny Altman
Starring - Dana LoVecchio
Featuring - Beth Schumann
With - Candy Churilla, Loren Kraut, and Morgan

Kenny Altman holds the distinction of being San Francisco's only Stand-up Comic and Torah Trope instructor. He recently co-hosted the popular "Gays and Dolls" series at the Clubhouse in San Francisco, has played at clubs all over the U.S. and has shared the stage with such luminaries as Marga Gomez, Karen Ripley, Jeff Applebaum, Kid Dave Miller, and more. As a young child coming of age in the 1960s, his mother and grandmother used to tell him that he was "funnier than Alan King" but Kenny always knew there was more to him that just that - he also knew that he was "prettier than Julie Andrews." Kenny has always had a special place in his heart for female comics and he is especially excited to be bringing this new comedy showcase to San Francisco, especially with this smokin' hot lineup for the show's debut:

Dana LoVecchio started performing comedy shows at the age of 7 in Michelle Meade's backyard. She continued performing throughout elementary school, where she would shove peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in her face to make the kids at the lunch table laugh. Upon her graduation from John F. Kennedy High School, Dana was awarded the high honor of Most Likely To Appear On Def Comedy Jam. Not being black, Dana was perplexed, but then she remembered her southern Italian roots and silently thanked her ancestors for getting it on with the Moors. She has performed all over the San Francisco Bay Area including The San Jose Improv, Rooster T Feather's, The Purple Onion, The Clubhouse, and Cobb's Comedy Club.

Beth Schumann is one of the founding members of the Mixed Nuts: Comics on Meds stand up comedy troupe, which features comedians on medication for a wide variety of mental health disorders, raising awareness and laughter at the same time. Beth is also a regular with Grace White's Women Who Kick Comedy Butt. Beth has shared the stage with Rob Cantrell, James P. Connolly, Jimmy Dore, Will Durst, Al Madrigal, Phil Palisoul, Tom Pecora, Tom Rhodes, Dwight Slade, Bobby Slayton, Harland Williams, and more.

Candy Churilla was born and raised in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she learned to drink. This proud bachelorette's life is one misunderstanding, man, and cocktail after another. What this lovably twisted comic lacks in self-control she makes up for in self-involvement. If her life were an HBO series, it would be called Sex & the Ghetto

Loren Kraut can be seen far and wide touching or counting anything that needs touching or counting. At the recent San Francisco Comedy College Awards, Loren won "Most Inspirational Comedian" for 2008.

Morgan is a former ironworker from Island Heights, New Jersey. Really, do you need to know more than that?!

I must be dreaming - please, pinch me! (No, really, pinch me, I like it!)

I'm agreeing with, and appreciating, something Arnold Schwarzenegger is saying?! Are there no limits to the miracles this world has to offer?!

Governor Backs Same-sex Marriage Ruling

Matthew Yi, Chronicle Staff Writer

San Francisco Chronicle, May 17, 2008

A day after the state Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples should have the right to marry in California, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said Friday that he supports the court's decision even though his personal view is that "marriage is between a man and a woman."

Advocates of same-sex marriage have praised Schwarzenegger for embracing Thursday's decision, which overturned a voter-approved law allowing only opposite-sex marriage. They also expect him to make good on his promise last month to help fight a new initiative, aimed for the November ballot, that would overturn the court's ruling.

But the Republican governor's stance on same-sex marriage has been curious and confusing to many people. Since his election in 2003, Schwarzenegger has twice vetoed bills to legalize marriage for homosexual couples.

Last month, he appeared to make an about-face, placing himself in the spotlight when he told a group of gay Republicans that he would campaign against the Limit on Marriage initiative. Backers of the measure have submitted more than 1 million signatures to the secretary of state's office, which will decide next month whether the initiative qualifies.

In a meeting with The Chronicle's editorial board on Friday, Schwarzenegger was asked to clarify his position.

"First, I have always said that for me, marriage is between a man and a woman," he said.

Then he added: "But I don't want to make everyone else go in that direction."

Schwarzenegger said he vetoed same-sex marriage legislation because he felt the Legislature shouldn't override voter-approved Proposition 22, which had defined marriage as between a man and a woman and was nullified by the high court on Thursday.

However, the governor said he doesn't necessarily feel the same when it comes to the Supreme Court overturning a statute enacted by a voter initiative.

"When the people vote, people are not legal experts, constitutional experts or any of that," he said. "I think that's why we have the courts. People may vote with good intentions, but then the court says, 'This is not constitutional.'

"It's not that the court interferes with the will of the people," he added. "But the court says, 'You voted for something, but it's not constitutionally right, so let's rework this.' That's really the idea."

While he supports the notion that same-sex couples should enjoy the same protections as heterosexual couples, the governor said same-sex marriage is not something that he has felt strongly about. He added that he has attended ceremonies for domestic partnerships.

Schwarzenegger's outspoken rejection of the proposed Limit on Marriage initiative gives the opposition campaign a huge lift, said Barbara O'Connor, director of the Institute for the Study of Politics and the Media at Sacramento State University.

John J. Pitney Jr., a political science professor at Claremont McKenna College, said the biggest boost that the governor can have in that campaign would be in fundraising.

Meanwhile, Republican campaign consultant Kevin Spillane said he believes that the proposed measure, if it qualifies for the fall ballot, could lift the Republican Party's "dispirited conservative base."

But just how that might play out in the presidential or other local elections will be complicated to figure out, he said.

"Gay marriage is a tough issue for both parties," he said. "You'll have socially moderate and younger Republican voters who may be more supportive of gay marriage, but then you also have African American and Latino Democratic voters who are more socially conservative."

Schwarzenegger said he doesn't think same-sex marriages in the coming months will stir up Californians much.

"I think life will go on as usual," he said.

On the Radio with John Rothmann this Saturday night/Sunday morning!

Friends - It's a beautiful day here in the United States of America; thanks to yesterday's groundbreaking decision by the California Supreme Court, which will make same-sex marriage legal in this state in 30 days, I feel, for the first time in a long time, as if this battle we are fighting for equal protection under the law might actually have a good ending, and perhaps even sooner than I’d hoped or dreamed. I only wish Ennis and Jack could be here to share this moment with us!

My friend Morgan (that's her in the pic up top) and I will be on the John Rothmann show this weekend on KGO radio – Saturday night/Sunday morning, from 2:00 – 3:00 a.m. to discuss our reactions to this monumentally momentous moment in history, and to take calls from listeners. We’ll probably even get to tell some jokes and plug the June 7 premiere of Just One of the Girls, the hottest comedy showcase to hit San Francisco since Gays and Dolls!

You can listen to KGO radio at 810 on your AM dial, or on the internet at www.kgoam810.com/listenlive.asp

More info on JOOTG at www.kennyaltman.blogspot.com/2008/05/just-one-of-girls-premieres-saturday.html .

Peace, love, and shabbat shalom to all,

Kenny A.

Just One of the Girls Premieres Saturday Night, June 7!

On Saturday night, June 7, join Kenny Altman and four - or five - perhaps even six - of the Bay Area's hottest female comics at this brand-new comedy showcase, Just One of the Girls!

Just One of the Girls!
Saturday night, June 7, 8 pm
MetroSpace, 379 Highland (at Andover), San Francisco.
$10 tix online at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34769
Your host - Kenny Altman
Starring - Dana LoVecchio
Featuring - Beth Schumann
With - Candy Churilla, Loren Kraut, and Morgan


Kenny Altman holds the distinction of being San Francisco's only Stand-up Comic and Torah Trope instructor. He recently co-hosted the popular "Gays and Dolls" series at the Clubhouse in San Francisco, has played at clubs all over the U.S. and has shared the stage with such luminaries as Marga Gomez, Karen Ripley, Jeff Applebaum, Kid Dave Miller, and more. As a young child coming of age in the 1960s, his mother and grandmother used to tell him that he was "funnier than Alan King" but Kenny always knew there was more to him that just that - he also knew that he was "prettier than Phyllis Diller." Kenny has always had a special place in his heart for female comics and he is especially excited to be bringing this new comedy showcase to San Francisco, especially with this smokin' hot lineup for the show's debut:

Dana LoVecchio started performing comedy shows at the age of 7 in Michelle Meade's backyard. She continued performing throughout elementary school where she would shove peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in her face to make the kids at the lunch table laugh. Upon her graduation from John F. Kennedy High School, Dana was awarded the high honor of Most Likely To Appear On Def Comedy Jam. Not being black, Dana was perplexed, but then she remembered her southern Italian roots and silently thanked her ancestors for getting it on with the Moors. She has performed all over the San Francisco Bay Area including The San Jose Improv, Rooster T Feather's, The Purple Onion, The Clubhouse, and Cobb's Comedy Club.


Beth Schumann is one of the founding members of the Mixed Nuts: Comics on Meds stand up comedy troupe, which features comedians on medication for a wide variety of mental health disorders, raising awareness and laughter at the same time. Beth is also a regular with Grace White's Women Who Kick Comedy Butt. Beth has shared the stage with Rob Cantrell, James P. Connolly, Jimmy Dore, Will Durst, Al Madrigal, Phil Palisoul, Tom Pecora, Tom Rhodes, Dwight Slade, Bobby Slayton, Harland Williams, and more.


Candy Churilla was born and raised in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she learned to drink. This proud bachelorette's life is one misunderstanding, man, and cocktail after another. What this lovably twisted comic lacks in self-control she makes up for in self-involvement. If her life were an HBO series, it would be called Sex & the Ghetto.

Loren Kraut can be seen far and wide touching or counting anything that needs touching or counting. At the recent San Francisco Comedy College Awards, Loren won "Most Inspirational Comedian" for 2008.

Morgan is a former ironworker from Toms River, New Jersey. Really, do you need to know more than that?!

Mother's Day 2008 - Remembering "Mommy"

An oldie, but a goodie - this was the first piece I published to my blog, back in the olden days of 2005, in observance of Mother's Day and in tribute to my dear, darling mother, who I miss each and every day with an ache that is hard to define. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and for your comments.

My Cousin Vinny/My Mother Marion
Mother’s Day, for obvious reasons, has a different flavor for me these days than it once did. No more phone calls, no good-natured “gut yontiff” which I always began my calls with on secular or national holidays, no more of that sweet voice on the other end of the line. No more recipe sharing, no more cat stories, no more laughs at the expense of public figures, no more of her rich stories about growing up on New York's Lower East Side, no more plans for my next trip to New Jersey. Now, it’s all just memories.

Still, however, even with someone no longer physically here, there is always the opportunity to continue to learn from that person, and in the most unexpected ways.

For the last few years of my mother’s life, her three favorite movies were “Legally Blonde,” “Miss Congeniality” and “My Cousin Vinny.” Along with her other favorite new show, “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” she watched these movies often, sometimes just a scene or two at a time, thanks to HBO On Demand. I love "Enthusiasm" and I will never forget how my mother and I screamed with laughter, a week before she died, at the restaurant scene featuring the Tourette Syndrome-afflicted head chef.* As for the movies, I tried to watch them with her a few times, but for some reason I didn’t get what the fuss was all about. Unfortunately, I never asked. Save for Marisa Tomei’s Academy Award-winning scene on the courtroom stand in “Vinny,” I just couldn’t see what she saw in those films.

Several weeks ago, I decided to sit down for once and for all and watch these movies and try to see what it was my mother saw in them. So I watched them, at home, by myself, on three successive evenings. All of a sudden I got it, and all of a sudden I knew my mother all over again.

It’s so simple that I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I missed it while my mother was alive. You see, “Blonde,” “Congeniality” and “Vinny” are essentially the same movie. In each movie, a smart, good-looking woman (Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock and Tomei respectively) is told that she is neither smart nor competent enough to make it in a so-called man’s world, or she is told she is either too good-looking to be taken seriously (Witherspoon as a law student, Tomei as an expert witness on the differences between the 1964 Buick Skylark and the 1963 Pontiac Tempest) or not good-looking enough to be taken seriously (Bullock as a beauty pageant contestant). In each film, they prove everyone wrong and, of course, as the underdog does so often in the movies, they save the day. (As an aside, if you think that “Vinny” was all about Joe Pesci, it wasn’t; rather, it was about Tomei, and you owe it to yourself to watch "Vinny" again from this perspective.)


This was something my mother talked about from time to time, during some of our more serious conversations, that she knew she was smart and competent but that she felt she had never been given what she thought were ample opportunities to prove it. My mother graduated high school at age 16 and went straight to work, full-time, as a legal secretary. This is what she did, but it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to do. What my mother wanted was to go to college; in my humble opinion, and with all due respect to the honorable profession of the legal secretary, she should have gone not only to college, but to law school as well. But this was 1943. Of course, women were going to college and to law school in 1943, but many at that time, my mother included, were still taking the more widely accepted route of the secretary-in-waiting-to-meet-her-man.

My mother met her man, my father Saul, when she was 20. She married him two years later, on March 19, 1949, and two and a half years after that my brother Howard was born. I followed in December of 1954, and our brother Allan came along six years and change after that. At the time Howard was born, my mother left her secretarial career behind to devote herself to raising her family. I'm not sure if she regretted not going back to work outside the home, however I do suspect that there was a part of her that secretly wished she could have gone back at some point in time, perhaps when my younger brother and I were approaching our teens, but she never did. When she was widowed in 1982, at age 55, my mother had the opportunity to go back to work. But she didn’t. “I just spent 30 years raising three children,” was her response. “I’m retired.”

And retire she did. But not exactly. My mother read constantly, and she used the radio and the television not only to entertain, but to learn from as well. She was continually expanding her already vast knowledge of all things great and small. For someone who hadn’t worked outside the home since her early 20’s, she knew more about what was wrong with the world than most world leaders could ever dream of knowing. She was smart, she was competent, and of course, she was beautiful, and each day of her life she was a little bit more of each of those things than she had been the day before.

What I learned from my mother about rooting for the underdog, about speaking up when you know that something isn't right, was immeasurable and irreplaceable, and I carry it with me every day of my life. I should not be surprised at all that today, 18 months after her passing, she is still teaching me things.

In the three months preceding my mother’s passing, I danced with her at two weddings and a Bat Mitzvah. On Sunday, November 16, 2003, a week after our last dance together, my mother fell and broke her hip. Two days later, during surgery, she suffered a massive brain-stem stroke and she never came back. I was with her when her medical team disconnected her life support, and I was with her for the next eight and a half hours. I was in the room when she stopped breathing, at which point I took the nurse’s stethoscope and listened to my mother's heartbeat for the last few minutes of her life. It was the most powerfully intimate moment I ever shared with another human being, and I wouldn’t trade that moment for anything in this world. Except, of course, for the opportunity to sit down with my mother and watch one of those three movies, the most recent additions to her ongoing gifts and her ongoing legacy to me.

Helen Keller once said that she was not afraid of dying, that “...death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.” Funny, now that my mother is gone, I no longer fear death the way I once did. To paraphrase Keller, I also know that in that next room I will continue to see and hear, and in that next room I will find my mother, and my father, and so many others who have gone but have never really left me, and who still have the power and the ability to teach me new things.

If you are a mother, I wish you health and happiness today and every day of your life. If you have a mother, please give her an extra hug today, and tell her it is from me.

Kenneth Altman
San Francisco, California
May 8, 2005

*no Tourette Syndrome patients were harmed in the writing of this piece.

I probably don't have the time to go out and prove this, but...

Deborah Jeane Palfrey (3/18/56-5/1/08)

I highly doubt the DC Madam killed herself.

Shabbat shalom, have a great weekend!

Kenny

The Redwood City Skyline, Four of the Bay Area's Best and Brightest, Free Nachos - are you in yet?!

Redwood City Skyline

I will be at the Villa Roma at 593 Woodside Road in Redwood City, on Wednesday May 7 at 8 pm with host Dan Edwards (current semi-finalist, Rooster T. Feather’s 6th Annual Comedy Competition), Christine Gelat (also a current semi-finalist, Rooster T. Feather’s!) and headliner Jeff Applebaum (The Rat Pack, The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson). No cover, no minimum, plus FREE pub grub. (Holy crap, Kenny, did you say free food?!) Yeah, hotdogs, nachos, popcorn and more – all free!

Friends, this is a great new comedy series that Dan Edwards is putting together. I am honored to be in the company of these great comics, and I would so greatly appreciate your support in coming out to see this show; you will not be disappointed. Several of you came to see me in the Marga’s Funny Tuesdays show recently at Harvey’s in the Castro – thank you for that! I love it when people I know are in the audience, and the bookers love it even more, especially when you buy lots and lots of drinks!*

Thank you for supporting live comedy.

*Please make sure you have a designated driver or, if you’re Jewish, a designated whiner. :)

Wednesday, May 7 in Redwood City!

Redwood City Skyline

I will be at the Villa Roma at 593 Woodside Road in Redwood City, on Wednesday May 7 at 8 pm with host Dan Edwards (current semi-finalist, Rooster T. Feather’s 6th Annual Comedy Competition), Christine Gelat (also a current semi-finalist, Rooster T. Feather’s!) and headliner Jeff Applebaum (The Rat Pack, The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson). No cover, no minimum, plus FREE pub grub. (Holy crap, Kenny, did you say free food?!) Yeah, hotdogs, nachos, popcorn and more – all free!

Friends, this is a great new comedy series that Dan Edwards is putting together. I am honored to be in the company of these great comics, and I would so greatly appreciate your support in coming out to see this show; you will not be disappointed. Several of you came to see me in the Marga’s Funny Tuesdays show recently at Harvey’s in the Castro – thank you for that! I love it when people I know are in the audience, and the bookers love it even more, especially when you buy lots and lots of drinks!*

Thank you for supporting live comedy; enjoy it while we still have a First Amendment!

To those of you of the 12-tribes of Israel persuasion, hope you are enjoying your Passover. It is one of my favorites!

*Please make sure you have a designated driver or, if you’re Jewish, a designated whiner. :)

I've Never Heard Anything Like This In My Life

I recently discovered Johnny Cash's "American V: A Hundred Highways" and I haven't stopped listening to it for close to a week.

The 12 songs on this CD are among the last that Cash recorded before his death on September 12, 2003, at the age of 71. From the opening track, Larry Gatlin's "Help Me" to the prophetic closer, "I'm Free from the Chain Gang Now," a re-recording of a song written by Lewis Herscher and Saul Klein in 1932, that Cash first recorded in 1962, every single second of this recording is a gem and the most fitting epitaph to the memory of the man and the legend that he deserves to be. Other stand-out tracks here include a gorgeous cover of Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind," and "Like the 309," the last song Cash ever wrote.

Discovering and enjoying new music has been a constant in my life since I purchased my first 45, The Crystals' "He's A Rebel," in 1962. At one time I had over 3,000 LPs and close to that many 45s, and at present I have over 13,000 songs in my iTunes library - and, still, after all these years, I am amazed and I feel blessed beyond belief when I get to discover something new that rocks my world. This is one of those times. I listen to these tracks over and over again and just keep remarking to myself "I've never heard anything like this in my life." For someone who has listened to a lot of music, that is quite a statement!

This is what I call a "perfect album," my definition of which is that this is something you can't help but listen to from beginning to end, as opposed to just a track or two at a time. There are a lot of other "perfect albums" in my collection, ranging from Cindy Bullens' "Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth" to The Grateful Dead's "American Beauty" to The Beatles' "Rubber Soul" to Laura Nyro's "Eli and the 13th Confession," and I am so glad to be able to add this amazing piece of work to that elite group, where it deserves to be.

Now, I begin the happy chore of purchasing the other four albums from his "American" collection.

Thanks for listening, enjoy yourselves!

Kenny A.

What's The Big Frikking Deal?!

What is the big deal being made about this horrible actor with a really bad English accent from "The Jeffersons" visiting the U.S.? Cameras everywhere, capturing his every move?! What's the big deal?

Oh, Pope Benedict. Never mind.

Marga's Funny Tuesdays - HOLY CRAP, That's Tonight!

Come and see me on Tuesday, April 8, 9 pm at Harvey's, 500 Castro Street, SF - Marga's Funny Tuesdays, with the legendary, the incomparable, and the just plain frikking funny Marga Gomez, host Candy Churilla, Dana Corey, headliner Ali Mafi, and ME! Free - no cover.

Thanks for supporting live comedy, come out and have some laughs!

14 Reasons to Join the Israeli Army

It gets bigger if you click on it. :)

Gays and Dolls/Marga's Funny Tuesdays

Come and see me this month -

Thursday, April 3, 8 pm at the Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, SF - Gays and Dolls, the most fabulously funny comedy showcase in town, featuring female and gay male comics. Thursday's host is Ryan Kasmier, headliner is Beth Schumann, and you'll also get to see Dana Lovecchio, Nick Leonard, Lisa Meyers, Bev Owen, and ME! $8. www.brownpapertickets.com/event/25984


Tuesday, April 8, 9 pm at Harvey's, 500 Castro Street, SF - Marga's Funny Tuesdays, with Marga Gomez, host Candy Churilla, Dana Corey, headliner Ali Mafi, and ME! Free - no cover.

Thanks for supporting live comedy, come out and have some laughs on me! And enjoy some rock and roll from two of the greatest voices of all time - Ronnie Spector and Joey Ramone -

Top 10 Reasons to Visit NYC - the greatest City in the world!

Here's #s 1 - 4 - Sterling Sulieman, Brandon Buddy, David Chisum, and Colin Egglesfield from All My Children and One Life To Live perform "Let It Go" from "The Full Monty" at ABC Daytime Salutes Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS at Town Hall, NYC, March 2 2008. I love New York!

Worst Film Performance Of All Time

John Travolta as "Edna Turnblad" in Hairspray - I've been watching it for the past few nights. Travolta totally missed the point of what that role was about, and I am pissed at the producers and directors for letting it go through.

Edna is supposed to be played as a trashy drag queen, or at the very least by a trashy, brassy blond female who ends up getting a hair and fashion makeover but never completely leaves the trash and the brass behind. That was the appeal from the beginning, from Divine in the 1988 movie version and Harvey Fierstein in the original cast of the Broadway musical, and I am sure that that is the way John Waters envisioned it - that Tracy's mother was really a drag queen, not just played by one. Travolta isn't comfortable enough in his own skin to play it that way. In short, John Travolta does not have the balls it takes to be a drag queen. What a drag, but in this case not the right kind of drag. If Travolta was going to play it "straight" they might as well have found a woman to do the role. Jennifer Aniston could have done an amazing job in that role, as a wise-cracking, gum-smacking suburban housewife. (Yes, Jennifer Aniston.) Katherine Keener could have done it. Maggie Gyllenhaal would have ROCKED in that part. And, back to men, JAKE Gyllenhaal could have nailed it, too. THAT'S an actor not afraid to bite into a role and take it for all it's worth. Travolta and Christopher Walken (as Wilbur Turnblad) should have switched roles, because I am confident that Walken could have nailed it, as well. But Travolta? Bah. Pure trash, but not the fun kind of trash at all; in short, the kind of trash you want to throw out, not take out! :)

I'm about halfway through watching and although I'll finish the entire movie I'm just fast-forwarding through the scenes that feature Travolta. What a waste of my time, and what an insult to drag queens and trashy women everywhere.

I'm ashamed that Travolta and I come from the same state, much less the same county. Jersey boys should know better, and we usually do!

Thanks for listening, have a good day.

A Staggering Loss - Sarah Horowitz

My dear friend Sarah Horowitz passed away this past week. She was just 44 years old. Ironically, this interview with Sarah, which has her sharing her own feelings about faith and loss, was published yesterday at Nextbook, an online Jewish publication. The author has since learned that Sarah passed away at around the same time that the article was being posted and has asked people who knew Sarah, or who are moved to do so, to share their thoughts in the article's "comments" section.

Sarah battled health problems throughout her entire life but she refused to let them stop her from pursuing her dreams and her passions. To paraphrase my rabbi, Micah Hyman, "her spirit was stronger than her body." She was a pure soul, and an amazingly accomplished person - among other things she was a poet, a Jewish scholar, a teacher of autistic children, and she made the best damn pumpkin Challah I have ever tasted in my life!

Sarah was loved, and she will be missed. Zichrona l'vracha - may her memory be for a blessing.

Shabbat shalom,

Kenny

Rooster's Comedy Competition, Wednesday March 5!

Wednesday, March 5, 8 pm, Rooster T. Feather's, 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. Please come out and see me and support me in the 6th Annual Rooster's Comedy Competition. Last year I made it to the semi-finals. With a little more experience under my belt, and your votes, perhaps I'll take it all the way this year! I have some free tickets available so contact me if you'd like one or two. Other than that, get your tix here or call Rooster's at 408/736-0921. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Gays and Dolls, Rooster's Comedy Competition!

Thursday, February 28, 8 pm. It's the best comedy showcase in town, and I'm hosting it! Gays and Dolls at the Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor (between Geary and Post). I am hosting this fabulous and funny comedy showcase featuring female and gay male comics. Maggie Newcomb headlines, and you'll see great sets from me, Ryan Kasmier, Morgan, Kelly McCarron and Ronn Vigh. Tix are $8, and $2 from every ticket goes to the Stop AIDS Project. Plus it's BYOB for 21 and over! Get your tix here.



Wednesday, March 5, 8 pm, Rooster T. Feather's, 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. Please come out and see me and support me in the 6th Annual Rooster's Comedy Competition. Last year I made it to the semi-finals. With a little more experience under my belt, and your votes, perhaps I'll take it all the way this year! I have some free tickets available so contact me if you'd like one or two. Other than that, get your tix here or call Rooster's at 408/736-0921. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Holy Crap I Love This Chick!

Over and over and over again. Joanie, baby, you rock my world!

Say It Ain't So, Rhoda!

He was a hunk in his day. He helped my cousin Debbie win $25,000 on the "Pyramid" show in 1976.

RIP, David Groh aka Joe Gerard. :)

What an S.O.B.

From the demented brain of Jesse Helms, one of the most unpatriotic Americans ever to serve in the Senate.
Helms was particularly vitriolic when speaking of gays and lesbians, blaming them for "the proliferation of AIDS," and stating that he disliked using the word "gay" to refer to them since, "...there's nothing gay about them."

Helms opposed the Martin Luther King Day bill in 1983 on grounds that King had two associates with communist ties, Stanley Levison and Jack O'Dell; as well, he voiced disapproval of King's alleged philandering.

Helms' referred to the University of North Carolina (UNC) as the "University of Negroes and Communists." (Charleston Gazette, 9/15/95) [4]

Helms once deeply offended a black colleague, Democratic Senator Carol Moseley-Braun of Illinois, by singing part of "Dixie" on a Capitol elevator.

Soon after the Senate vote on the Confederate flag insignia, Sen. Jesse Helms (R.-N.C.) ran into Mosely-Braun in a Capitol elevator. Helms turned to his friend, Sen. Orrin Hatch (R.-Utah), and said, "Watch me make her cry. I'm going to make her cry. I'm going to sing 'Dixie' until she cries." He then proceeded to sing the song about the good life during slavery to Mosely-Braun (Gannett News Service, 9/2/93; Time, 8/16/93).[5]

At this time, his press secretary was Claude Allen, an African American. James Meredith, who earned fame as the first African American student admitted to the University of Mississippi, also served on Helms' staff.[citation needed]

While working on the 1950 campaign of Republican Willis Smith against Democrat Frank Porter Graham, Helms helped create an ad that read "White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races." Another ad featured photographs Helms himself had doctored to illustrate the allegation that Graham's wife had danced with a black man. (FAIR 9/1/01, The News and Observer 8/26/01)

Helms was an ardent supporter of the late Chile dictator Augusto Pinochet. [6]

When Roberta Achtenberg was appointed Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in 1993 by President Bill Clinton, Helms attempted to block her confirmation, stating that he refused to vote for "that damned lesbian".

After a protest during his 1986 visit to Mexico, Helms opined: "All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction." [7]

In 1994 Helms spoke out against metal industrial singer Marilyn Manson. Manson responded by painting an anti-gay slur on his chest during a show in Winston-Salem, in a sarcastic and critical display against Helms's social viewpoints.

Hendrik Hertzberg of The New Yorker noted in his memoirs that Helms had "the 'humorous habit'" of calling all black people "Fred".

Helms used race issues in many elections; for instance, in 1990, he ran the famous "Hands" television ad in a tough re-election race. The ad has become legendary in Southern political circles as the most direct appeal to white backlash in modern American politics. The ad played upon white voters' ideas that affirmative action might lead to a job going to a less-qualified candidate ("Gantt supports Ted Kennedy's racial quota law, that makes the color of your skin more important than your qualifications.") (watch the ad).

Helms opposed an amendment offering War reparations#Japan to Japanese-Americans who had been interned during World War II; he proposed an amendment stipulating that no reparations would be made unless the Japanese government compensated the families of Americans killed at Pearl Harbor.

In 1994, Helms created a sensation when, on the anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination, he told broadcasters Rowland Evans, Jr., and Robert Novak that Clinton was "not up" to the tasks of being commander-in-chief and suggested that Clinton had "better not show up around here [Fort Bragg] without a bodyguard."[8]

Helms was a strong supporter of drug prohibition, and opposed former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld's nomination as Ambassador to Mexico because Weld supported medical marijuana.[9] Helms proposed several bills as part of the war on drugs.[10].

Helms once claimed that "The New York Times and Washington Post are both infested with homosexuals themselves. Just about every person down there is a homosexual or lesbian." [11]

A Staggering Loss of Potential and Promise

This is a reprint of something I posted in June of '06. The industry has lost a giant in the making, and a good, decent man.


Brokeback Mountain Revisited- what a difference six months makes.

Those of you who know me well will recall that, unlike most of the rest of the world, I was not crazy about Brokeback Mountain when I first saw it back in February of this year. There were a few things about it I was very unhappy, and very angry about. I remember complaining to my date on the way out of the theater, that it would be nice “if just once we could see a movie where the main gay character does not get bashed or, worse, killed, and it would be nice if just once we could see a film where the gay main characters live happily ever after.” (Movies that featured gay-bashing, and gays not living happily ever after include Torch Song Trilogy, and As Good As It Gets, although in all fairness to Harvey Fierstein the gay-bashing scene in TST was integral to the plot, while the gay-bashing scene in AGAIG was completely gratuitous.) For me, this was, at first glance, a movie written by straight people, for straight people. It was a movie that said, “see, gay people can never truly be happy, even when they know they are in love and have something good.”

I was also extremely frustrated and annoyed that, more often than not, Ennis’ (Heath Ledger) and Jack’s (Jack Gyllenhaal) drawls were so thick that I could hardly understand what they were saying. It made me feel as if I were missing half the movie.

Mostly, what disturbed me, and what colored my reaction to BBM, was the hype, and the media falling all over themselves to congratulate Ledger and Gyllenhaal for having the “courage” to play gay on film. Courage? To kiss another man on camera? Bulls**t! You want courage, I said, I’ll give you courage: try being openly gay in the year 2006, even in San Francisco, when we have a seated president who continues to lobby to have bigotry and discrimination written into the United States Constitution. Courage, you say, for two men to kiss each other on camera? Bah, humbug! Why does no one ever commend actors for portraying murderers? Is it because it is more acceptable in this sad state of affairs we currently call this country, for a man to kill another man, than to love another man? (Rhetorical question, doesn’t really need an answer – just look to the military for the answer to this one. They came out with a report today that refers to homosexuality as an illness, more than 30 years after the American Psychological Association ceased referring to it as such – amazing, but true – it’s okay to kill another man, but don’t ever, ever, dare to love one.)

I hate hype – interesting sentiment for someone who makes his living in marketing – and admittedly I am turned off by it. By the time I saw BBM, I had already been told by everyone and their grandmother that it was the best movie they had ever seen, and that I would love it. Heck, I’ll bet if Helen Keller (z’l”) were still walking among us, she'd probably be be finger-spelling to me that it was a great movie! And, knowing myself as well as I do, after all the hype I went in there one-quarter expecting to be bowled over, and three-quarters expecting to be disappointed and cynical. Again, to re-emphasize – I don’t like hype. As a stellar example, with the release of his first album in 1972, I did not fall head-over-heels in love with Bruce Springsteen, an act of defiance tantamount to treason for a New Jerseyite!

But now… I have picked up BBM on DVD. And now, far-removed from the initial hype, and thanks to the convenience of DVD – play, rewind, pause, skip/replay scenes, special bonus features (interviews with the actors, the director, Ang Lee, etc.) – I am seeing this movie for the gorgeous piece of work it truly is, the high-level piece of acting, directing, and filmmaking, that it truly is, on so many different levels. I’m not sure why I missed it the first time around, but I’m glad I’ve been given another chance.

About the gay-bashing – firstly, as I watch this again, the film does not make it clear to us if the gay-bashing really happened, or if this is Ennis’ imagination working in over-drive because, when he was nine years old, his father showed him the result of a fatal gay-bashing and told him "this is what happens to queers,” and it was this memory, of course, that contributed to his not being able to commit to Jack over the 20 years that they carried on their love affair. And, unfortunately, gay-bashing was most likely a real possibility in Childress, Texas in the early ‘80s, as it was then – and still is – in San Francisco. It’s an unfortunate fact of life, that as long as we have a government in power that marginalizes us and does everything to keep our children from receiving appropriate information about the facts of sexual orientation, a government that would prefer that we not even be allowed to adopt children, much less enter into civil contracts with each other, that these things happen and will continue to happen. Is it any wonder that the gay-bashing was the first thing Ennis thought of when he was told of the way Jack supposedly died? (Hit in the face with an exploding tire and drowning in his own blood before help arrived on the scene, or bashed to death with a tire iron? Which, to you, is more believable? For me, unfortunately, the bashing is.)

“A movie written by straight people, for straight people.” In a sense, yes, but more importantly, an honestly written and acted story about two men who were madly and desperately in love with each other but didn’t have the will or the courage (although Jack had a little more than Ennis did) or the resources to act on it. How many times has that happened with straight people, as well? For different reasons, of course, but it happens in straight life as often, and as painfully, as it happens in gay life. The pain that Ennis feels at the very end of the film – and the way that Ledger portrayed that pain – is universal, gay or straight. When Ennis holds Jack’s shirt to his face to attempt to catch one last fleeting scent of the man he loved for 20 years, as he utters the final words of the film, “Jack, I swear,” I can feel that pain. How many times have I, myself, either felt or imagined that pain, and how I might feel when, G-d forbid, I receive the news of the passing of someone I loved so dearly but who I knew I had to let go of, or someone who I thought let go of me too soon? How many times have I imagined that scene myself, looking at a picture of a former lover and telling that picture, “I swear, I never stopped loving you.” Life is good, most of the time, but an inevitable part of life is pain, and the pain that Ennis felt at that moment was as real, and as palpable, as any pain I’ve felt in my life, and I was right there with him as he held that shirt up to his nostrils and breathed it in. And Ledger and Gyllenhaal are both to be commended for the way in which they illustrated their love and their pain, emotions that truly transcend sexual orientation and are, simply, human.

The drawls are still indecipherable at times, but the important thing I have noticed after watching BBM again – and I have watched it at least four times straight through in the past week, and I’ve watched individual scenes several times more – is that it is the actions that speak louder than words. When Ennis falls, sobbing, into Jack’s arms, what he is saying is not as important as what he is feeling, and what he is feeling, and conveying to the viewer – that at that moment in time there is no place he’d rather be than in Jack’s arms – is so much more important than what is, or isn’t, coming out of his mouth.

The "courage" it takes to play gay? Thanks to the mainstream media, that was a load of crap then, and it is a load of crap still today.

This is a powerful, powerful movie, played beautifully and realistically by two giants in the acting field who deserve every accolade they've received for their performances, adapted and expanded upon with piercingly accurate detail by Diana Ossana and Larry McMurtry from E. Annie Proulx’ original short story – and guided lovingly through, from beginning to end, with the clarity of vision of a director who comes along but once in a lifetime – Ang Lee. If you didn’t like BBM the first time around, give it a second chance. I’m glad I did.

Thanks for listening, have a good day,

KA

Q Comedy, Rooster T. Feathers, and the return of Gays and Dolls!

Monday, January 14, 8 pm – Q Comedy Showcase at the Women’s Building, 3543 18th Street, SF. Sliding scale $8-$15

Wednesday, January 16, 8 pm – New Talent Showcase at Rooster T. Feathers, 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. $10 + 2-item minimum. 21 and over only. South Bay/Peninsula folks, this show’s for you!

Thursday, January 31, 8 pm, Gays and Dolls returns to the Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th floor. With host Ryan Kasmier, headliner Ali Mafi, and me and a bunch of really, really, really fabulous and funny people for your listening and laughing pleasure. 18+, BYOB for 21+ $8, purchase tix online here.

Coming up in February – 2/6 at the Pleasanton Hotel, Pleasanton, and 2/26 at the 750 Pub at Stanford U.

Thanks for supporting live comedy in San Francisco! You are what keeps us all going!

You Poor, Sad, Troubled Man - come out of the closet, Larry, I'll support you on your journey

Craig Continues Minnesota Legal Appeal
By BRIAN BAKST (Associated Press Writer)
From Associated Press
January 08, 2008 6:08 PM EST
ST. PAUL, Minn. - Seeking to have his guilty plea in a bathroom sex sting erased, the attorneys for Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho argue in a new court filing that the underlying act wasn't criminal because it didn't involve multiple victims.

An appeals brief filed Tuesday contends that Minnesota's disorderly conduct law "requires that the conduct at issue have a tendency to alarm or anger 'others'" - underscoring the plural nature of the term.

Craig's brief goes on to cite other convictions that were overturned because the multiple-victim test wasn't met. His lawyers apply the same logic to his case.

The Republican senator pleaded guilty in August after his arrest two months earlier at the Minneapolis airport. It was part of a broader undercover push targeting men soliciting sex in public restrooms.

Craig was arrested June 11 by an undercover officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia, who said Craig tapped his feet and swiped his hand under a stall divider in a way that signaled he wanted sex. Craig has denied that, saying his actions were misconstrued.

"Appellant's alleged conduct in this case affected only a single individual - Sergeant Karsnia," the Craig brief says. "It did not - and could not affect 'others' as the disorderly conduct statute requires, and therefore, does not satisfy that element of the statute."

The brief also argues that Karsnia himself could not have been offended by the alleged conduct because "he invited it." The alleged conduct, Craig's lawyers added, doesn't rise to the level of being "offensive, obscene, abusive, boisterous or noisy."

Craig's earlier attempt to withdraw his plea was turned down by a district court judge, and the case is now before the Minnesota Court of Appeals.

Besides attacking the law he was prosecuted under, Craig's legal team argues that the hand signal allegedly used to communicate a desire to engage in sexual conduct would be constitutionally protected speech. They also say the plea is technically flawed because it lacked a judicial signature.

Patrick Hogan, a spokesman for the Metropolitan Airports Commission, which oversees the Minneapolis airport and which brought the charges, said he was confident the guilty plea will stand.

"Facts are resilient, and Sen. Craig's continued, transparent efforts to escape them don't change the truth of his behavior in an airport restroom or the fact that he admitted guilt last August," Hogan said.

Prosecutors have 45 days to respond, and then the case will be scheduled for oral arguments. Once heard, a ruling is required within 90 days.

Craig has said he will finish his term, which ends in January 2009.

No Fake Bradys Here, My Comedy is Authentic Through and Through!

I will be in the Comedy and More showcase at the SF Playhouse, Stage 2, 533 Sutter Street, tonight at 8:30 PM. This is normally a $20 ticket show but if you print out and bring this blog piece with you, you'll get in for $10.

Come and see me, Tony Sparks, Kaseem Bentley, Lynn Ruth Miller, juggler extraordinaire Joe King and a couple of other local funny folk rip the place up!

Thanks for supporting live comedy in San Francisco!