Sgt. Pepper at 40.

Danger, blasphemy ahead.

It was 40 years ago today, that The Beatles released what is considered by many, many people to be their magnum opus, what many, many people consider to be the greatest rock and roll album ever recorded.

I am not one of those people.

You're shocked, aren't you?! This is blasphemy, isn't it?! You're waiting for a punchline, aren't you?!

Sorry, no punchlines this time. I am dead serious. I have never been crazy about this album and I doubt I ever will be.

On June 1, 1967, I was 12 1/2 years old. I loved records like nobody else did, and I still do. My parents, of blessed memory, gave me a generous allowance by 1967 standards - five dollars a week - and I spent every penny of it, every single week, on 45s and LPs. To a 12-year-old boy with five dollars in his pocket, there was no greater thrill than going down the stairs to the basement of Rockaway Sales at the Shop-Rite Shopping Center in Fair Lawn, NJ, each week, to see what was new, and to buy something I didn't yet have. I loved looking at the singles charts that they posted each week. I loved flipping through the album racks. It is a memory of my childhood that I savor to this very day.

Don't get me wrong. I loved The Beatles back then, and I love them still. My great interest was, and still is, pop. To me, there is nothing greater than a 2 minute 30 second, 3 minute 30 second at most, pop song, with lyrics that are easy to understand, a melody that is easy to sing along to, a beat that - yes - a beat that you can dance to. And when it came to that genre, The Beatles were at the top of their game, the standard to which most other artists aspired.

But Sgt. Pepper? Forgive me, but I never really got what the fuss was all about. Firstly, THERE WAS NO SINGLE RELEASED FROM THE ALBUM! How could you possibly release an album in 1967 and not a single along with it? This was my first clue that maybe this wasn't as great an album as everyone was chalking it up to be. I mean, if you couldn't hear a song from it every other hour on WABC Radio, what purpose did the album really serve?

Okay, okay, the songs are good. I enjoy most of them, as separate entities, from time to time. I love the drum beat that leads off the Sgt. Pepper reprise towards the end of the album. I could listen to that track every day and never tire of it. But the follow up track, A Day in the Life? Oh, please!? Good, yes. A milestone in recording history? I think not. A Day in the Life was a cleverly produced combination of three separate songs with some great sound effects, but really not much else? You want three separate songs that rock my world? How about Abbey Road's You Never Give Me Your Money? A 35-second barely discernible piano chord fadeout at the end of A Day in the Life? Who gives a crap? I have better things to do with 35 seconds, such as listening to the first chorus of 1910 Fruitgum Company's 1, 2, 3, Red Light. Man, oh man, if those guys don't personify the term "double hand-clap" then I'm just not a gay, religious, rock and roll Jew! I'd rather listen to the first 35 seconds of Annette Funicello's "Bikini Beach Party," and hear her sing "all the chicks are bikini-clad" right before the sax solo kicks in. And I'm man enough to admit it.

"Within You Without You?!" George. I love George. Always have, always will. But you know as well as I do that there they had a good reason for sequencing that song as the lead track on side two - SO YOU COULD SKIP PAST IT! And don't sit there all smug, y'all, and try to tell me that you didn't skip past that track to get right to "When I'm Sixty-Four" I'm sorry, but I just won't believe you. I wouldn't have believed you then, and I won't believe you now.

"Lovely Rita." Good song. Nice hook, great piano and great sound effects at the end. Nice lead-in to "Good Morning, Good Morning." Yeah, nice stuff. But the greatest album ever recorded in the history of the universe? Yeah, right.

Like I said, the songs are good, here and there, and I enjoy listening to them from time to time, but I can tell you honestly that I don't think I have ever sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper all the way through from beginning to end, the same way I can listen to Laura Nyro's Eli and the 13th Confession from beginning to end, all 13 songs, as easily today as I could almost 40 years ago. The same way I can listen to The Mamas and the Papas' 16 Greatest Hits over and over again, from the opening guitar riff of "California Dreaming" on side one to Denny Doherty's soulful "it's here to stay" on the fadeout chorus on "Monday, Monday" at the close of side two. Or, the opening drum riff of "(Theme From) The Monkees" to Mickey Dolenz' silly cackling at the end of "Gonna Buy Me a Dog" on the Pre-fab Four's eponymous debut album.

Sgt. Pepper? From beginning to end, nonstop? Sorry, bub, it ain't happenin' at my house, it ain't happenin' on my iPod. You want a Beatles album you can listen to from beginning to end, non-stop? How about the American release of Rubber Soul? How about Abbey frikking Road, which in my opinion is their greatest work ever.

"She's Leaving Home." Nice. But don't listen to that song if you're depressed, especially if you're anywhere near the Golden Gate Bridge. Talk about a downer. "Fixing a Hole?" Cute. I'll give it that. But not much more.

Forgive me Paul, forgive me Ringo, forgive me long-gone but never forgotten John and George. I love you guys. Always did, always will, but if I live to be 109 I don't think I'll ever see what everyone else seems to have seen in Sgt. Pepper.

Thanks for listening, have a great day!

Kenny A.