Darlene Love has never sung a bad note in her entire life...

...ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present my evidence, and I rest my case. Click here - www. youtube.com/watch?v=uDi5ZIcrxNA&NR

Just another gay, religious, rock and roll Jew who loves Christmas music. (I also adore Jake Gyllenhaal, with whom I share a birthday.)

So sue me, I love Christmas music. Not the smarmy, sappy, shit you hear in elevators or at the supermarket, but contemporary rock and roll Christmas music. The Beach Boys' "Little St. Nick," Phil Spector's "A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector," etc., that sort of stuff. I just absolutely love it and I love listening to it all every December.

Here's my new favorite, a little nugget I just discovered this year. For your consideration, I give you Harry Connick Jr. and "I Pray on Christmas" from 1993. Other than appearing shirtless in the final scene of "Pajama Game" on Broadway last year, this is truly one of Harry's finest moments.

Click here to enjoy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOVXs7tby9g

And for good measure, one more - from 1978, The Dickies' "(Un)Silent Night."

www.thepopview.com/mptres/silent-night.mp3

My life in showbiz, week 17...

Student Showcase/ChrisChanukahWaanzamas Party at Roosters!!
Saturday, December 23, 2006, 6 - 8 pm
Rooster T. Feathers, 157 W El Camino Real, Sunnyvale - click here for directions www.mapquest.com
See the top students of the SFCC's South Bay and San Francisco branches rock the house at Rooster T. Feathers!! $10 + 2 item minimum, door at 5:30, show at 6, bring your friends and the party!!

Afterwards, we are having our ChrisChanukahWaanzamas party and staying to see our teachers, Kurtis Matthews and Joe Klocek perform in the 9 pm show!! So come on down and make an evening of it. For tix to the 9 pm show, click here www. www.ticketweb.com/t3/event/EventListings?orgId=13480

BUT - if you come to the 6 pm show, you get in to the 9 pm show for free! Not a bad deal at all.

Hope you're having a great Chanukah and a great "holiday" season overall.

On a serious note, I need to add that I lost a good friend of mine this past week. Betsy Burton, a co-worker of mine, died unexpectedly last weekend. I worked closely with Betsy over the past several years and I will miss her very much. She was smart, she was vibrant, and she was always a joy to be around. She came to see my show in October, and I am glad to say that one of my lasting memories of Betsy will always be of seeing her sitting in the SFCC Club house, smiling and laughing at me and my colleagues. Betsy, I adored you, and I will miss you. May your memory always be for a blessing.

Thanks for listening, have a great day,

Kenny A.

I want a big helping of THIS for my birthday! And if I ask real nice, can I have seconds?!

Thanksgiving, 1990, Napa County, CA - my first and only time in drag. I don't know how you women do it!

My Life in Showbiz, Week 16...

Dear Friends and Family,

Come and hear what I have to say about Tyra and Tori - I'll be appearing Saturday night, December 16, at the Petri Dish show at the Clubhouse at SF Comedy College - 414 Mason Street, 7th floor, hosted this week by the fabulous Deb Campo. Show begins promptly at 6, so please arrive at 6 and plan to stay for the entire show, until 8:30, not just to see me but to see some really, really, really funny people who I am honored to be able to share a stage with every Saturday night. $5 admission, well worth the cost. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations; see link in "links" section of this page to learn more about SF Comedy College. Leave the kids at home, and don't expect political correctness - not even from me!

Why I Love Joan Jett So Much

Why I Love Joan Jett So Much...

For the past several months, for my stand-up act, I have chosen to use Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll" as my intro song. It is a great high-energy song to come on stage to. Sometimes I take a moment at the beginning of my set to acknowledge the music and to refer to "Joanie" as my good-luck charm. Another way I work Joan into my set is when I say that I didn't get any number of stereotypical gay genes, I am fond of saying, for example, "when G-d was handing out the fashion gene to gay men, I was in the next room at the Joan Jett concert."

If you love a good, hard-edged pop/rock song as much as I do, and if your tastes run similar to mine, it's easy on the surface to see why I love Joan Jett so much. In a word, she is awesome. Her body of work over the past 30 years has been consistently good. Her songs are tight, her vocals are strong, and she is undoubtedly one of the finest rhythm guitar players on the circuit today. Her live shows take it one step further. She gives it her all, each and every time. To paraphrase a lyric from her rap song, "Black Leather," she is Joan, and she is love.

But there is another dimension to why I love Joan Jett so much. It has to do with something that happened over 20 years ago, when I was managing Tower Records in New York City. Joan and her band were scheduled to do an autograph-signing appearance at our Lincoln Center location to promote her latest release, "Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth," which remains to this day the album of hers I listen to most, with "Good Music" running a close second. Joan was scheduled to arrive at 10:00 AM and stay until 12:00 noon. When she arrived, there were 2,000 fans outside our store waiting to meet her. There was no way we would be able to move 2,000 people through the line in just two hours. Joan looked at the crowd and said to her manager, and then to me, "I'll stay until everyone's gone through the line." And she stayed for eight hours. Eight hours! For her fans! This, to me, is the ultimate in professionalism, the ultimate in respect for the business and for your art, the ultimate in respect for the fans who adore you and who are in no small part responsible for your success. The fact that you do this to acknowledge this to your fans shows how much you care about that relationship. The only other person who ever did this was Luciano Pavarotti, who stayed for six hours a few months after that. Contrast that with Billy Idol, who came 45 minutes late and left after an hour, leaving us with 1,500 12-year-old girls going into heat for the first time banging on our windows and our doors to get in. We had to call the NYPD to bring a squad car up to the front door and the horse patrol to move the crowds away. It was scary, and whatever little respect I may have had for Billy Idol prior to that afternoon, I lost completely that day.

Joan, you are the best, and I love you, and I love coming on stage to "I Love Rock and Roll." Keep well, and keep up the good work!

It was a great time in my life, and I love reliving it each time I listen to Joan Jett!

Thanks for listening, have a great day.

Kenny A.

Tori Spelling is writing her memoirs and I'm really, really scared.

My life in showbiz, week 15...

Dear Friends,

I will be performing at the "Petri Dish" open mic set at San Francisco Comedy College on Saturday evening, December 9. Show begins at 6 and goes till 8:30. No telling when I might go on, so try to arrive by 6 and plan to stay for the whole show, not just to see me but to see and support some really, really, really funny people that it is my pleasure to share a stage with each week. $5 admission, well worth it, and more! SF Comedy College is located at 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, between Geary and Post. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations. For info, see link on right side of this page.

Have a great Shabbat and a fabulous weekend!

Kenny A.

Canvas Cafe, Tuesday evening, December 5.

Dear Friends,

My good friend Jill Bourque and I will be performing at open mic at the Canvas Cafe, 1200 9th Avenue at Lincoln Way, on Tuesday evening, December 5. Come on down and watch or, if you're a comic, come and join us in the lineup! Show starts at 8 pm. We could go on any time between 8 and 10 pm, possibly even later, but come on down and hang out with us and we'll all have a gay old time!

Keep well,

Kenny

My life in showbiz, week 14... plus save the date - December 17 - my first annual birthday/comedy yuk-fest!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be appearing Saturday night, December 2, at the Petri Dish show at the Clubhouse at SF Comedy College - 414 Mason Street, 7th floor, hosted this week by the fabulous Ali Mafi. Show begins promptly at 6, so please arrive at 6 and plan to stay for the entire show, until 7:30, not just to see me but to see some really, really, really funny people who I am honored to be able to share a stage with every Saturday night. $5 admission, well worth the cost. SF Comedy College happily accepts donations; see link in "links" section of this page to learn more about SF Comedy College. Leave the kids at home, and don't expect political correctness - not even from me!

Save the date - The First Annual Kenny Altman Birthday/Comedy Yuk-fest - Sunday evening, December 17, 7 - 9 pm, at a private home in San Francisco - if you would like an invitation let me know by mailto:kennyaltman@earthlink.net.

Shabbat shalom to all,

Kenny A.