Grumpy?! Who, moi?!

I found this note in my desk this morning stuffed between a few other pieces of paper. I have no idea who put it there, or when they did. I blew it up and put it on my corkboard next to a picture of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and I circled "Grumpy." Don't you just love the way they spelled precedent?!

Hump Day Comedy at the Clubhouse! Wednesday, April 25, 8 pm with your host Adam McLaughlin and featuring a ton of funny, funny people, including me! $5 admission - now if that ain't 21st century comedy at 20th century prices I don't know what is. BYOB for 21+. The Clubhouse is located at 414 Mason Street, 7th floor, between Geary and Post. Come on up and have some laughs!

B MOVIE ONLINE Kenny Altman Commercial

Watch this commercial, watch it often, tell your friends! If I get the most amount of views I get the commercial played at the premier of B-Movie Online - thanks!

Taking it to the North Bay!

Comedy Night - Saturday, April 21, 9:00 PM at the Russian River Resort16390 4th Street in downtown Guerneville along the beautiful Russian River. www.russianriverresort.com


Tix - $5 - Holy Crap - 21st century comedy at 20th century prices!

Featuring Nick Leonard (headliner), with Candy Churilla and Kenny Altman (emcee)

Nick Leonard, headliner - Nick Leonard produces Q Comedy, the premiere gay comedy showcase in San Francisco. He has performed with Louie Anderson, Brian Regan, Eric McCormack, Marga Gomez, Karen Ripley, Danny Williams, Sabrina Matthews, Scott Capurro, Doug Holsclaw, Betsy Salkind, Marilyn Pittman, and many others... www.nickleonard.net


Candy Churilla - Candy Churilla, Oakland resident, stars in "Sex & the Ghetto," a reality show that broadcasts in her head. www.candychurilla.com


And me, Kenny Altman, the gay, religious rock and roll Jew! When G-d was handing out the show tune gene to gay men, I was in the next room at the Joan Jett concert. I recently placed 4th in the preliminary round of the 5th Annual Comedy Competition at Rooster T. Feather's in Sunnyvale, CA. Come and see me this Saturday night in Guerneville, and then in Sunnyvale in the semi-finals on May 9!

Our Little Theater, Wednesday, April 11 at 8 pm

I'll be doing a set at the comedy showcase on Wednesday, April 11, show beginning at 8 pm, at Our Little Theater, 287 Ellis Streets San Francisco. (Between Mason/Taylor)
Behind the Hilton Hotel Downtown San Francisco

Tickets: Contact the box office 24-hour Ticket and Information Hotline: (415) 928-4060 $10/$15 or thereabouts...

Come and have some laughs!

Saturday, April 14 - Hosting the Grad Show in SF Wednesday, May 9 - Semi-finals in Sunnyvale

Hey! Join me next Saturday afternoon as I host the grad show at the Clubhouse at SFCC. I am excited about presenting to you the latest crop of graduates of the SFCC's advanced class. They kick ass and I know you'll have a great time! Plus - I'm the emcee! Show is at 4 pm at 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor (we're the comedy club so underground we're seven floors up!), between Geary and Post. Tickets are $10, easily available in advance for those of you who do not carry money on Shabbat - http://brownpapertickets.com/event/14227/ or by contacting Melissa Gans by mailto:melissa999us@yahoo.com. All comics get 50% of the door, so make sure to tell the host at the front door that you are coming to see ME! Thanks!

On Wednesday, May 9 at 8 pm I will be competing in the semi-finals at the Rooster T. Feather's 5th Annual Comedy Competition. Come on down and cheer me on - and VOTE for me if you think I'm worthy of the honor! Rooster T. Feathers is located at 157 W. El Camino Real in Sunnyvale. Tickets are $10. These events frequently sell out so if you're planning on coming purchase your tickets in advance at http://roostertfeathers.com/

Here's the set that got me 4th place in the preliminary round. Thanks, enjoy, and thanks for coming out to support live comedy in the greatest place in the world to do comedy - the San Francisco Bay Area!

This is the set I did at Rooster's on Wednesday evening, March 28. I took 4th place and now I advance to the semi-finals on May 9.


Enjoy!

Dear Friends,

Please mark your calendars now, buy your tix, and come and see me at the Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor (between Geary and Post) on Saturday night, March 31 at the 9 PM “Naked Comedy” show! My good friend Jason Clause and I will be rocking the house along with these heavy hitters:

Sammy Wegent, finalist San Jose Improv "Battle of the Bay" competition, 2005
Scotty Fell, frequent headliner at the Clubhouse, performing all over the Bay Area, finalist in Killer Laughs Competition, 2007
Ali Mafi (emcee), from the Axis of Evil tour, regular performer at the Punchline and clubs all over the Bay Area
Reggie Steele (headliner), 1st place winner of the Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Competition, 2003, now headlining and hosting all over the USA, and it doesn’t hurt that he is also one fine-lookin’ man!

This is a BIG deal for me. The comics on the bill for March 31 are people whose work I greatly admire, and I am honored to have been asked to participate in this show. This is going to be a great, great, funny, funny, show – don’t miss it!

Tickets are $10. Available at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/11275 or by contacting Melissa Gans at melissa999us@yahoo.com. http://lilmonkey.typepad.com/the_clubhouse/

If you’re planning on being in Sunnyvale on Wednesday, March 28, come and see me (and vote for me!) at the Rooster T. Feathers 5th Annual Amateur Comedy Competition. Doors at 7:15, show at 8:00. Info at
http://roostertfeathers.com/

Check this out – I made a commercial tonight for my friends at BMOVIE ONLINE - click on the image at the top of this post.

Keep well and keep cleaning for Pesach,

Kenny A.

Dear Friends,

Please mark your calendars now, buy your tix, and come and see me at the Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor (between Geary and Post) on Saturday night, March 31 at the 9 PM “Naked Comedy” show! My good friend Jason Clause and I will be rocking the house, along with these heavy hitters:

Deb Campo (emcee), finalist in Nickelodeon’s “America’s Funniest Mom” competition, 2007
Sammy Wegent, finalist San Jose Improv "Battle of the Bay" competition, 2005
Scotty Fell, frequent headliner at the Clubhouse, performing all over the Bay Area
Ali Mafi, from the Axis of Evil tour, regular performer at the Punchline and clubs all over the Bay Area
Reggie Steele (headliner), 1st place winner of the Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Competition, 2003, now headlining and hosting all over the USA, and it doesn’t hurt that he is also one fine-lookin’ man!

This is a BIG deal for me. The comics on the bill for March 31 are people whose work I greatly admire, and I am honored to have been asked to participate in this show. This is going to be a great, great, funny, funny, show – don’t miss it!

Tickets are $10. Available at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/11275 or by contacting Melissa Gans at melissa999us@yahoo.com. http://lilmonkey.typepad.com/the_clubhouse/

I will also be appearing at these clubs on these dates:
March 24 and 31 – Clubhouse at 6 pm, $5
March 24 – Q Comedy, 8 PM, Jon Sims Center, 1519 Mission Street. $8 - $15 sliding scale
March 28 – 5th Annual Amateur Comedy Competition, Rooster T. Feathers, 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. Doors 7:15 PM, show 8 PM. $10. I have a few free tix available if you want to come and cheer me on.

Best regards and thanks to all,

Kenny A.

The outing of Gen. Pete Pace, Day 5

Gay?! Who, me?! Why, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Well, on reflection, funny you should ask...

The Outing of Gen. Pete Pace, Day 4

San Francisco, CA, June 2006 - Gen. Pace watches Gay Pride Parade, wistfully, from the sidelines. "Perhaps next year," he thinks to himself, "I'll be brave enough to participate."

I am taking bets on how long it will take Gen. Pace to either come out or have someone do it for him. Contact me c/o this blog.

Peter - Portrait of a Gay General - coming soon, to a theatre near you.

HOLY CRAP! IS THIS GUY GAY, OR WHAT?!!!!!

Come out, come out, General Pace!

Gen. Pace's remarks are almost a perfect echo of what Ted Haggard used to say about homosexuality - my bet is that it's only a matter of time until Pace's escort/meth supplier comes out of the woodwork to set the record straight on this poor, misguided man.

Kenny Altman at Clubhouse, Naked Comedy 3/10/07

My first time doing the 9 pm "Pro Showcase" - thanks for watching, enjoy!

Kenny Altman at Purim Follies 3/4/07

I killed on Purim! Enjoy!

March is busting out all over...

Saturdays March 3, 17, 24 and 31, 6 pm – New Talent Showcase, The Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, SF, $5

Sunday, March 4, 6:00 pm, The Purim Follies, Temple Emanu-El, 2 Lake Street, SF, $20

CANCELED – Java on Ocean, Wednesay, March 7

Saturday, March 10, 4 pm – HOSTING Grad Show/New Talent Showcase, The Clubhouse, $10 If you come to this show, tell them you are coming to see me - I get 50% of ticket sales for anyone who comes to see me! Tickets online at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/11129
or contact Melissa Gans at melissa999us@yahoo.com or 415/921-2051 for will call tix.

Saturday, March 10 and March 31, 9 pm – Naked Comedy Showcase,
The Clubhouse, $10 (free if you attend the earlier show)

Wednesday, March 28, 8 pm – Fifth Annual Amateur Comedy Competition at Rooster T. Feathers, 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale – $10. I have some free tix available, contact me if you would like them, but you must use them! Reservation line – 408/736-0921

Thanks for listening, thanks for watching, thanks for supporting live comedy and making me feel good, Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach Purim to all!

Kenny A.

Kenny Altman at The Clubhouse 2/24/07

I felt real good about this set, 2/24/07. Thanks for watching, hope you like it! Kenny A.

I felt real good about this set 2/3/07. Hope you like it, thanks for watching!

Letter to the Editor, j. Weekly, 2/9/07

I'm very proud of this letter which appears in this week's issue of j. Weekly, the Jewish news weekly for the Bay Area.

Diluted message?

The Jan. 19 j. article “Time is on homosexual advocates’ side” concluded with Rabbi Eliot Dorff joking that he really does “talk about other things.”

I always find it interesting when straight people feel they need to clarify their stand on the gay issue by offering this or similar disclaimers. To me, as a gay man, every time I hear something remotely similar to this, it sounds like a cross between an apology and a reassurance that the speaker himself is not gay.

This issue just happens to be in the forefront these days, both in religious and civil matters. May I offer to Dorff and others, with all due respect, if it is important enough for you to advocate for it, don’t offer apologies or reassurances for voicing your opinion; from my perspective, it dilutes your message.

For what it’s worth, I was only 10 when the Civil Rights Act was signed into law, but I really don’t remember white people who supported the signing of the act having to reassure people that they “talked about other things.” But, interestingly, it seems to be that way whenever someone talks about the gay issue. Can we please get past that?

Kenny Altman | San Francisco