Tuesday, August 28, 2007

You Poor, Sad, Troubled Man


A defiant Sen. Larry Craig denied any wrongdoing Tuesday despite his guilty plea this summer in a men's room police sting, emphatically adding, "I am not gay. I have never been gay."

In other news, a spokesman for the NAACP denied reports that the late James Brown was black, Pat Boone denied being white, and Joan Rivers denied allegations that she has had cosmetic surgery.

Oh, Mr. Craig, you poor, sad, troubled man.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Battle of the Bay Comedy Competition and More


Come see me on Sunday, August 26, at 3 pm at the SFCC's Battle of the Bay Comedy Competition at The Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, SF. $10. Info/tix at 415/921-2051. I'm very excited about this show as this entire weekend marks the one-year anniversary of the first time I took to the stage to share my comedic world view from the perspective of a gay, religious, rock and roll Jew. It's been quite a journey, and I want to thank all of you who have encouraged, supported, and participated with me over the past year. Just think - one year ago this weekend, I was telling jokes about Mel Gibson. This weekend, you can see me tell jokes about Michael Vick - my, how I've grown as an artist! :)

Later that same night, I'll be in the Comedy and More showcase at the Jean Shelton Theatre at 533 Sutter. Show starts at 8:30 pm and features a whole bunch of really, really funny people including Tony Sparks, Nick Leonard and Joe Nguyen. Come on down and have some laughs! $15.

On Monday night I'll be at the open mic at Tommy T's, 5104 Hopyard Road, Pleasanton. Show starts at 7:30. Come and watch me rock Pleasanton!

Having fun making people laugh...

Kenny A.

Here's Another Greatest Hits Collection That's Hard To Beat


(side one)
1. Rainy Day Women #12 and 35
2. Blowin' In The Wind
3. The Times They Are A-Changin'
4. It Ain't Me Babe
5. Like A Rolling Stone
(side two)
6. Mr. Tambourine Man
7. Subterranean Homesick Blues
8. I Want You
9. Positive 4th Street
10. Just Like A Woman

Thursday, August 23, 2007

A Greatest Hits Collection Doesn't Get Much Better Than This


(side one)
1. (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
2. The Last Time
3. As Tears Go By
4. Time Is On My Side
5. It's All Over Now
6. Tell Me (You're Coming Back)
(side two)
7. 19th Nervous Breakdown
8. Heart Of Stone
9. Get Off Of My Cloud
10. Not Fade Away
11. Good Times, Bad Times
12. Play With Fire

Any questions?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Here, There, and Everywhere

Here I am for the next few weeks - come and see me make people laugh! (I don't know how I do it, but somehow I do.)

Monday, August 20, 8 pm - Comedy Showcase at The Chieftain, 198 5th Street, SF, with Joe Nguyen, Cara Tramontono, Scott Fell, Laura Gallegos, Daymon Ferguson, and featuring Sal Calanni. $6, plus they serve food.

Saturday, August 25, 6 pm - New Faces of Comedy at The Clubhouse, 414 Mason Street, 7th Floor, SF. $5.

Sunday, August 26, 3 pm - Battle of the Bay Comedy Competition at The Clubhouse. $10.

Wednesday, September 5, 8 pm - Hosting at Destinations, 2650 Broadway Street, Redwood City. Free.

Saturday, September 8, 9 pm - Naked Comedy Pro Showcase at The Clubhouse with headliner Kris Tinkle. $10.

Wednesday, September 19, 8 pm. Destinations.

Wednesday, October 10, 8 pm. Destinations.

Thanks for your support and your laughs!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Is This A Cool Town, or What?!


Marquee, Bridge Theatre, 3010 Geary Blvd., SF, CA, Thursday, August 16, 2007

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Bonds Ball Ready To Be Auctioned Off - Right Here, Right Now!

I have the Bonds ball, and I am ready to auction it off.

Many have claimed to be, but I am the true owner of the Bonds ball. I am ready to auction it off. Starting bid is $100. Send your bid to me at my myspace page (link at right).

This is the official, authentic Bonds ball. Do not accept any imitations. This is the ball that Mary Bond (sometimes known as Bonds) Davis used during a performance of Hairspray at the August Wilson Theatre in New York on January 25, 2003. I was in the audience, and when she threw the ball out that night after the “school volleyball game” scene, I caught it. I have held on to it ever since, knowing that one day it would be valuable.

It’s yours for $100 or more. Bids will be accepted through 12 noon, Sunday, August 19, 2007.

Here’s a picture of Mary:


Here’s a picture of the ball:


Here’s a picture of the ball, on drugs:



Here is a picture of Sarah Bond Davis with her husband and children, circa early 1870s, Sofala/Portland, NSW Australia. Probably no relation to Mary Bond Davis, but you never know.





Happy bidding!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Sports Fans Behaving Badly


(08-07) 23:31 PDT -- Once again, the polite disagreement over who exactly is the rightful owner of one of Mr. Bonds baseballs produced blood, bruises and bedlam.

Somebody ended up with the ball and, apparently, he fled the ballpark as quickly as he could.

Once again, it seemed that just about everyone in the center field bleachers either touched the ball, almost touched the ball, might have touched the ball, or was touching someone who was touching the ball.

The arrival of the baseball with a secret mark set off a wicked scramble that could have passed for a goal line stand or the attack on Little Round Top.

When the big moment came, the ball flew into the third row of bleacher section 144. That's where Scott Johnson of Oakley was standing with three friends, who had agreed before the game on a four-way split of the proceeds from the ball if any one of them caught it.

Johnson said he got shoved by his friend, Brian Herman of Sacramento. Herman said he felt the ball glance off his fingertips.

"If I would have had a glove on tonight, I would have caught it,'' Herman said.

Before the game, a friend of Herman had offered him a glove, but he turned it down.

Randy Finley of Mountain View, just behind Johnson, said he touched the ball, too. Then he watched in horror as a woman got knocked over and her husband disappeared into the scrum, leaving their 4-year-old son to cower with his teddy bear. Finley said he never found out who they were but that it did not appear to be the pinnacle of responsible parenting.

Meanwhile, the ball was tipped from row 3, to row 4, to row 5. A fellow named Bryant Toth of San Francisco said he had "three fingers on the ball'' before he lost it. He did not come away empty, however. For his efforts, he wound up with a cut on his right shin.

And then the ball struck the ground and a guy in a New York Mets jersey plopped down on it and wouldn't budge, while one fan after another tried to pull the ball away from him.

Some people pushed others to get to him. There was shoving, elbowing and possibly worse.

Security guards and cops showed up and began pulling children away from the grown-ups who were doing battle.


"Who has the ball, who has the ball, who has the ball?'' the guards were hollering.

Then the security people dug into the pile, grabbed the guy in the Mets jersey and spirited him away. About six guards and cops escorted him in a phalanx worthy of a prince or potentate.

One woman, Amanda Nunez, a season ticket holder from San Francisco, admitted that she tried to pull the ball from the guy in the Mets jersey.

"I was holding on to his arm, I was trying to get the ball,'' she said.

After failing, she was thrown back in the scuffle and bumped her head, leaving her with a headache. She was one of about half a dozen fans injured in the scuffle, mostly with bruises, along with Toth's bloody shin.

Nunez said she ended up holding a flip-flop that she believes belongs to the guy in the Mets jersey. It wasn't the ball, but it was something. Maybe, she said, it was even a collector's item.

"Maybe, but that's kind of gross,'' she said.

About two hours later, a spokesman for the Giants said all that was known about the man with the ball was that his name was Matt Murphy, 22, of Queens, N.Y., and that he had purchased a ticket to the game on a whim. He was in San Francisco on his way to Australia, where he was headed Tuesday night.

It was not known what Murphy had done with the ball or what he plans to do with it, although money is probably involved.

There was plenty of heartbreak to go around. One young fan, 15-year-old Mark Jackson of Philadelphia, said he was sure he was the guy with the ball. But Jackson had fallen for the fake ball trick -- during big home run scrambles, mischievous fans are known to toss other balls into the area to watch the resulting chaos.

Jackson picked up one of the fake balls, stuffed it into his pants and then headed below the bleachers to consult with security guards, who broke the bad news.

If Jackson had inspected the ball, the guard pointed out, he would have seen it was marked "CIAC'' -- which stands for the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, not generally known as the supplier of major league baseballs.

The rest of section 144 was aghast at the spectacle of the ball scuffle.

"Fists were flying, elbows were flying, people were digging, swinging, pulling on stuff, nobody cared about anything,'' said Chris Goelkel of San Francisco. "It was madness.''

Alan Azem of San Mateo said, "It got to the point where people pushed other people just to get on him.''

"They were pushing grandmothers to the floor,'' said Susan Kitchens of Campbell. "I was just trying to get away from it.''

Monday, August 06, 2007

Is This Totally Cool, Or What?!

(Click to make it bigger.)

Why The F**k Is This News?!


Yao Ming Marries Girlfriend in Shanghai
BEIJING - Yao Ming married his long-term girlfriend Monday at a swanky hotel in his hometown of Shanghai. Yao, the Houston Rockets' star center, tied the knot with Ye Li, a 6-foot-2 player on the Chinese women's basketball team in a ceremony at the Shangri-La Hotel, sina.com reported.

Friday, August 03, 2007

50 Mason, Saturday, August 4 - What a Lineup!


Come and see me make people laugh on Saturday night, August 4, 8 pm, at 50 Mason (that's the name of the club AND the address), SF. Along with your host Tony Sparks, you'll get some rip-roaring laughs from Joe Tobin, Reggie Steele, Marti McGibbon, Aundre Herron - and me! $10 at the door.